Winter League Game Week #6 - vs Pinelands (Mens 3s) - 2013 Season

19 May 2013

Venue: Mutual

Opponents: Pinelands

Time: 15h00

After our two curtain raisers (being the 1s and 2s) we took the field – poor guys looked all tuckered out but they played their hearts out. We didn’t start off with the ball so there was no #UCT goal attempt this time. We enjoy most of the possession in the first few minutes of the game.

After a lot of pressure the breakthrough finally came. Classic Demon style only knows how to smash, the shot was saved by the keeper but falling nicely for Demon to have a follow up miss timed smash. The wounded rabbit finding the goals after bouncing over the defenders stick on the line. Mutual 1 – 0 Pinelands.

We continued to press and after a few unsuccessful short corners Tosser stepped up to drag. Not the best I have seen…….actually far from it, luckily the second wave was dangling his stick infront of….lets say it was definitely going on goals, the speed is questionable. But it hit the back of his stick and we were awarded a p-flick which Pete stepped up to convert. Mutual 2 – 0 Pinelands.

Pinelands came back with a scrappy goal, their striker running along baseline and Youngster anticipating he would square the ball to the striker on p-spot . But he selfishly went alone with Youngster leaving his near post exposed. Mutual 2 – 1 Pinelands.

Demon was back at it again soon after we conceded, the ball coming into the circle from the right. With his speed he beat the defender to the ball and, like the airline, one-time into the bottom left corner. Mutual 3 – 1 Pinelands.

It was around this time that Tallis thought we were having things a bit too easy. He decided to pull his Hammy…..AGAIN. He could always just ask to go off. But decides rather to go off in style…limping. Lol. After the quick switch around we were a little unsettled at the back, a Pinelands striker managed to get off an average shot just inside the D. Youngster thinking it was hit from outside left it and Pinelands were back in the game just before the end of the first half. Mutual 3 – 2 Pinelands

With a minute left in the half Mutual  with the possession decided to have one last bolt at the goals. Tosser running….ok fine walking with the ball around the halfway line say the heavens open and a spot light beaming on Blake. A great ball to Blake camping on the top D, he turned and blazed one past the Pinelands keeper to put Mutual further ahead. Mutual 4 – 2 Pinelands.

During the team talk we basically had one focus in mind. We needed to push for the bonus point. Taking the field for the second half we started on our quest for that one extra point, not that we had wrapped up the game by no means but if we won, we wanted to win big. The first goal of the half came qiute quickly when we started playing route 1 hockey instead of passing it around trying to look fancy. Ball in from Tosser just right of top D, Demon collecting the ball and (he says pop shot) but we all know it was a wounded rabbit past the keeper. Brownie very nearly poached the goal off the line. Mutual 5 – 2 Pinelands.

Ex Mutual player and current Pinelands keeper “Cannon” was not giving up at all. Pulling of a lot of saves and doing what a keeper should – get in the way all the time. Several chances went beckoning. Then route 1 hockey came into play. Tosser smashing a ball into the D, a sort of hit and hope kind of slap hoping for a deflection of anything really with the new own goal rule. Demon reaching out and getting a glancing deflection and edging it past the keeper. Mutual 6 – 2 Pinelands.

We now had the bonus point in reach, one more goal was all we needed. It was now all out attack, with a goal lead of 4 we were not worried if we conceded. We just wanted that 5^th goal. Blake receiving a ball from Ingo and making a run down the left. Finding Brownie in the circle who had a quick snap shot which the keeper again smothered on p-spot but Caveman quickly came to the rescue cleaning up on the reverse and forcing the ball into the goal. Mutual 7 – 2 Pinelands.

Mutual were not done yet, we wanted a goal cushion incase of the emanate Pinelands counter attacks. Toooooori playing for the crowd took on at least 4 Pinelands players, with the crowd going wild the only way the Pinelands defender could stop him was by flattening him with a “Butch James” type spear tackle. Brownie received a long thru ball from inside our own half and had a 1v1 with their keeper. Cooly slotting the ball past the keeper to extend our lead. Mutual 8 – 2 Pinelands.

With the game drawing to a close we got a shorty which after the whistle proved to be the last play of the game. The whole Mutual side was circling around the D like blood thirsty animals staring at the Pinelands goal box. The call was to go to Caveman, who received the ball and while playing the ball across it hit a Pinelands foot. Another short was awarded, from the stands you could hear the cries for a Tosser drag flick. Being a crowd pleaser we gave the fans what they had come here to witness. Tosser slotting the ball off the final short corner of the game. Mutual 9 – 2 Pinelands.

It was great to have the crowd around for our biggest win of the 2013 campaign. Darrin was missing out due to injury and Mick who had been dropped to the 2s for the weekend. Does that mean Doc and his GoPro’s have been dropped as well? I surely hope not.

Final Score: 9-2

Next up biggest game of the season vs table topping Millies. Petie-Weeepu and Blakie both out for the game….Not Ayoba!

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser

Winter League Game Week #5 - vs VOB (Mens 3s) - 2013 Season

11 May 2013

Venue: Mutual

Opponents: VOB

Time: 15h00

We took to the field for our first home game of the season. Winning the toss …..again, we chose to start with the ball. Wanting to test out our new technique again, we will call this the #UCT. Its all about a huge burst straight out of the starting blocks. The initial overhead dropped short of Brownie, team vote says Pete should start hitting the gym harder so he can make those passes. But it was picked up by Demon who smashed it to Blake, letting the ball run onto his reverse side, smashed a backstick shot past the keeper. 20 Seconds gone in the game. Mutual 1 – 0 VOB.

The 3s boys being quite happy with the start we had just gotten, still celebrating the goal, saw what can only be described as a meteor smashing into the goals. Almost out of nothing, a little too much room in the D and VOB smashed a reverse stick shot of their own into the side netting. Youngster sticking his nose into the air to sniff, but none of us smelt that one. Mutual 1 – 1 VOB.

A little jolt to our systems, looking at the logs VOB were near the bottom not winning many games. And as I had discussed with Doc during the week, this entire league is open at this stage. Either that or all the teams want to take our unbeaten record away from us…NOT COOL. These M3 boys are really making us work for every victory.

We made a move down the left of the field, Basil collecting the ball and popping it past the defender. I am not sure if he thought he was still 18, but after his pie diet there was no way he was ever going to get to that ball. One handed throwing his stick at the ball….back stick of course, he actually makes contact with it and found Blake on P-sport who did the rest. Blake 2, Mutual 2,  Mutual 2 – 1 VOB.

 Nearing the end of the first half, it became a back and forth game. The heat and lack of fitness really starting to take its toll on the vintage players in the 3s. It’s a good thing that we have a bunch of youngsters doing most of the work like Mick, Ingo and SJ (Also known as Toooooori). After our strikers going straight down the centre most of the game, Blake had the great idea to maybe run around the defenders. As he hit the circle with a hard strike (from top D proving that lighting does strike twice) burying the ball in the corner. Hatrick for Blake like a footballers perfect hatrick (left foot, right foot and header) he pulled off a hockey players perfect hatrick (reverse stick, front stick and deflection). About time he scores his first hatrick of the season, Blake looks in line to get another crunchie this year. Mutual 3 – 1 VOB.

The half time chat was all about not losing focus and trying to push for the bonus point without conceding. VOB’s half time talk must have been a lot better than ours because they came out guns blazing. Either that or they all got new legs on the black market before the start of the second half. It felt like I was running on a treadmill from the start of the second half.

Defenders did well, Darrin showing his experience and pulling off some solid tackles to keep the VOB forwards at bay. Kev forgetting how the years have been treating him lately lunged for a ball and stuffed up his back so Caveman came in to replace the old man. Then as in the Paarl game, I waved goodbye to Caveman and told him that I would see him after the game. With him and Pete pushing the centre of the field causing havoc all we needed to do was to start converting chances into goals.

Tosser pulled off what people are starting to call the stick block of the season. Stick blocking a player almost a meter away….Spur very quickly saw this infringement and awarded a free hit against him. Even after a look shock filled Tossers face. “was it that noticeable”….apparently so.

With the minutes in the game running out, Caveman took a quick 16 and smashed the ball up the line to Demon who played a great ball across the field to Brown. Brown set up Basil open at top D and taking his first front stick shot of the season rofed the ball above the keepers head. If the ball had hit the keeper in the pip it probably would have ended up back at the half way line – that’s how hard the ball was hit. Either that or the keepers head would have been cut clean off like a scene from Game of Thrones. Mutual 4 – 1 VOB.

With a few minutes left, we seemed happy to take the points and go for a few well deserved beers. It can definitely be said that the games are getting a lot harder. And after seeing the results from the weekend….This league is wide open.

Final Score: 4-1

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser

#35

A couple of Pictures of the game courtesy of Speedo. He also enjoys taking…….”intimate” shots, I wonder what that is. lol

Winter League Game Week #4 - vs Paarl (Mens 3s) - 2013 Season

04 May 2013

Venue: Paarl Gym

Opponents: Paarl

Time: 16h30

Twas a lovely day out in the Paarl. Taking a slow Sunday drive to the venue (which is basically top speed in Paarl) I had a catch up chat with one of the Paarl boys, ex CDs player Fish - and I think in the off season he has been eating bricks. The guy is big, his muscles have muscles on them. Two game in a row we require medical staff for piss tests. After realising that i would be graced with marking him for the duration of the game, I knew last weekends UCT game would seem like a walk in the park compared to this one.

Continuing our winning form and winning the toss we decided give them the ball - Thinking we would give it a week before trying the heroics of the previous games 18 second goal. The first 10 minutes way quite a slow start to the game. Seemed both teams were just feeling each other out.

Neither team wanting to be caught in possession of the ball or countered so neither of us pushed forward that much. After a ball, which seemed pretty easy to clear, was missed in the D and a little goal mouth scramble. Paarl was able to get a shot off which made its way past Youngster who was unsighted. Mutual 0 - 1 Paarl.

Getting a little bit of a shock as we went one goal down, our forwards stepped it up and started to create some chances. Our first goal came about from a platter….from the Paarl defence when taking a 16.(The type of platter that Vis “The Chef” would be proud of) Demon’s eyes were like saucers after receiving the ball from the 16. He then slipped it to Basil (debut after being promoted to the 3s from the 2s) who popped the ball onto his reverse stick, like there was anywhere else the ball was going to go, and smashed up level with Paarl. Mutual 1 – 1 Paarl.

We took the lead with the help of Blake getting on the end of a wonderful river ball. The keepers glove somehow saving the deflections, but Blake was quickest to react to the rebound, throwing himself at the ball and slotting it home to put us into the lead. Mutual 2 – 1 Paarl.

Tosser got a little tongue lashing from the umpire (no not the good type of tongue lashing) after simply querying his decision. Feet touching the edge of the circle should be 5 from the dotted line – apparently he was wrong. And then in a “I wont admit im wrong attitude” – He was told he was not allowed to query anything else….Like that was really going to stop him.

Tallis thought things were getting a little boring on the field, so wanting to make things exciting for the crowd he tackles the Paarl centre link from behind. It looked very similar to a spear tackle or one of Butch James’ no hands tackles. It ended up with the two of them rolling around on the floor a little. By the time Tallis had got back to his feet their umpire was waving a green at him. A little deserved but after looking at the rest of the game, there should have been plenty more cards if that was a green.

So Tosser did his thing and literally took his time taking the next 16 so that Tallis could get on the field. It was the longest 2 minutes of my life, im sure it was closer to 5. We eventually were back to 11 players and the half time whistle sounded. Half time talk was very chilled compared to the UCT game. We threw around a few tips and were ready to take on the second half.

Second half was like watching a game of tennis. Back and forth the whole time, no real clear cut chances. We defended a couple of shorties well until Youngster let one slip thru his legs. #TriangleShapedCoffin. #LegsLikeaProstitute. Mutual 2 – 2 Paarl.

We went into panic mode. We needed this win to keep up with VD Stel and Millies at the top of the table. We technically we need every win, but….. you know what im saying. This was the last time I would see Caveman until the end of the game. All I said was “we need to push them a little more” Caveman never returned to our half of the field for the rest of the game.

So with our defence down to 3 (which we have played before – but only when chasing bonus points) we continued to fight hard. Throwing everything into every tackle. Mick, on the left,  sticking to his player like glue which means his nickname of Bungee is now out of the window. Darren , on the right, marking the huge space left by our now attacking centre back Caveman. We finally get a shorty, dragflick thru the keepers legs and the defender cleared it “from behind the line” for a long corner….Tosser not impressed. But instead of arguing ran to take the long corner and forced a few shitty tackles to eventually win another short corner. This time we decided to slip to Caveman, I greeted him as if he had been off the field for most of the second half. Short corner worked, but might have been smashed against Blakes foot on the way thru. Credit to Blake who owned the shot and walked away like nothing happened. In steps Goose to overturn the decision. At this point we all had flash back of the one draw we had last season where Goose disallowed a goal. But fair enough “THIS TIME” it wasn’t a goal.

I would like to apologise to Doc’s physicians. We did leave it kinda late this week, and he did complain about his heart racing near the end. With 2 minutes left in the game and after a goal mouth scramble, Demon turned and smashed the ball at goals forcing the keeper to save. Up steps our trusty striker Blake pouncing on the lifted ball and playing a reverse stick drive that his cricketing coach would be proud of.  Mutual 3 – 2 Paarl.

Paarl turned to all-out attack as soon as they centered off. Peti-Weepo getting in the decisive tackle and just holding the ball up forcing the striker to hack him. Mutual ball…..and yes a little time wasting was in order, we needed just under a minute to secure the win. One “Import” fakey, followed by asking Goose if the player was  5 meters, then followed by throwing the ball as far as I could #SkyRaper and out the grounds……Final Whistle

Final Score: 3-2

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser

#34 – was a struggle and our closest game to date. Boys showed determination!

Keep it going boys!

Winter League Game Week #3 - vs UCT (Mens 3s) - 2013 Season

27 April 2013
Venue: UCT
Opponents: UCT
Time: 18h00

We took the pitch after a scrape together of players to fill our 3s with Youngster being sick, Demon at a wedding and Caveman on some helicopter ride. In came Mini as a stand in goalie, new talent Ingo from the 4s and a shock return from retirement for Tallis after being out for a few years.

We took the field looking around very worried, knowing that last year when we played the UCT side in M4 both games were extremely tight and could have gone either way with maybe a goal or two seperating the sides. With Mutual having the ball we centered off and with 3 touches from Pete to TJ then to Brown, Brown rounded the keeper and slot one in from a narrow angle.....18 seconds played. Mutual 1 - 0 UCT.

Speaking on behalf of the other defenders the rest of the half was a massive blur, sweat pouring in my eyes chasing around what seemed like 25 players on the field. A couple of the blond UCT boys resemled Flash Gordon at stages. The next 34minutes and 42 seconds were spent chasing  baby blue shirts around the pitch. I wish we had a medical staff on site i would have made them test all these boys for steroids use. Slowing down play as much as we could, sometimes just banging the ball up field so i could fall into the fetal position for a few minutes and actually breath. 

I asked Vis, who was umpiring, how much more time was left/how much more time i needed to waste so i could collapse on the spot.....7 minutes played was his response. THAT was a blow to my system (and no not the good kind) Felt like that Christmas when my dad gave me a walkie talkie instead of the Dino-Rider Triceritops I wanted. With the sweat pouring down my face and the tear building up behind my eyes, vision was at a minimum.

We did start to have our fair share of counter attacks, with us coming close a couple of time. Then straight back to seeing a sea of blue run at us like a scene from Braveheart. Kev at the tender age of 60 was even force to dive (or fall over not so gracefully) to clear a ball as the UCT forwards were gunning down on him. Mini also saving us a couple of times rushing out early and smothering the ball and anything else he could get his pads to.

As soon as Vis signalled the 10 minutes left in the half everyone seemed to get excited. We didnt have to last that much longer before we could catch our breaths for 10 minutes during half time. Blake received a ball from Pete, and a one touch back stick smash slips one past the keeper to double our lead before half time.  Mutual 2 - 0 UCT.

With the half time whistle going, looking out onto the field, the astro looked like a the aftermath of a battle field with Mutual bodies lying everywhere. Well at least thats the all i could see from the floor. Our team talk was mainly just loud breathing and gasping for air. Some of the guys looked like they were seeing start after a fast paced first half, Blake and Brown stunk of brandy and we kept trying to get Vis' attention to slip him some cash to call the game after 10 minutes.

UCT must have had a team talk from Leonidas, "Tonight we dine in hell" - These boys in baby blue all of a sudden looked vicious and had a taste for blood. Wave after wave of baby blue attacks crashed against the Mutual defense. but some how we stood strong. 

Youngster pulled off some fantastic saves during the half. Mick put in some solid tackles. And Darrin threw in a few crunchers, tacking so hard that the refs decided to give us a breather because the game was getting a little rough and we were told we have a minute to chat to our team and calm things down. Yes, i took my sweet ass time. Breath guys breath, only *Tosser looks at Vis with tears in his eyes*, Vis signals 20.... WTF - are you jas! 

So knowing there was only...ONLY 20 minutes left we decided to use the age old tactic of slowing the game down. Everytime UCT hit the ball out, Tosser would do a slow walk/jog to get the ball and slow play down as much as possible. Two 16's later....15 minutes left. It seemed things were going in our favour. Defending like demons we conceded a couple shorties which our shorty defence kept out well. Kev kept chasing their striker that was 3 times younger than him.

Eventually my tactic of throwing over heads from every 16 worked out. Like a fisherman throws out his line and waits for a bit, a UCT defender bit stopping the ball above his shoulder giving him a breather for 5 minutes. We actually had a chance to get a few passes off. We took control in the last couple of minutes of the game, just trying to keep possession and give our defenders a breather. With the UCT player coming back to the field with a few minutes remaining, it was back to slowing the game down. a few more 16s and few more wasted minutes. Mutual holding off some tough competition for their first clean sheet of the season.

Final Score: 2-0

Yours in awesomeness
Tosser
The unbeaten run continues....#33Unbeaten, next up we have Paarl....in Paarl. Pack your passports boys!