Indoor Game Week #2 - vs UCT (Mens 2s)

Wow, two match reports in two days. This is almost better than Bondi's off the pitch record. Or was that two in one day? Anyway, i tried as best i could to neaten up his match report and yes there is swearing as well...kids these days. He mentions a Dutch Fanny and words like Curley in the same sentence. Hmmmmm, interesting.

After almost 2 weeks out the 2s had their 2nd league game, at the awesome Military Base facility.

Things to take out of this game.

1: Pushing forward in numbers

2: Every1 working with together when pressing

3: Stretching the field on the attack

4: Shorty defense

29 January 2012

Venue: SADF

Opponents: UCT

With 2 more debutants in our side (Giger and Agent/Two-Face), as well as it being a late Sunday game, we knew this may be a tough game in terms of continuity and due to the fact that 6Pack may have probably finished a case come game time.

Nevertheless, UCT decided to rock up late and without a goalkeeper as well as a umpire, which seemed to unsettle the team even more. Needless to say the 1st 5 minutes we were nowhere and the had hardly touched the ball. Slowly though, in typical Mutual fashion, we crept quietly into the game and as we seemed in it a sweeping UCT play had us one down. Mutual 0- 1 UCT 

From here we started using the ball better, with Agent using some nice skills out of the back once or twice. 

Just as we had faith in our new recruit, UCT make a break into our circle from baseline and with a cross ball to no-one, Agent decides to tap it in. (We later found he used to play for UCT) Mutual 0 - 2 UCT

It was at this moment when 6Pack decided to rock up after doing 180 to the game, as "his keys were locked in the car". I take his word for that, although I take it that the case of beers were locked in there too? #toldhim After some good spells of possession Dutch, Fanny and Import exchanged quick passes and found a shorty. Import had no worries with throwing it into their player and earned us a goal. Mutual 1- 2 UCT 

We obviously like giving teams goals as UCT earned a shorty and Carl "Ridiculously Good" Badenhorst stepped up and got the goal. Mutual 1- 3 UCT 

Another shorty was "well" won by 6Pack after 400 stick blocks, which Import slotted easily again. Mutual 2- 3 UCT. Half-time.

The 2nd half started much the same with us thinking that its only fair to play in the last 10 minutes. After Bondi beat Carl all-ends-up but had a legitimate shorty claim turned-down, UCT got the ball and had a horrendous shorty given for a "hack" which was actually a stick-block. Remember refs, its only allowed for 6Pack. Anyway, Carl converted again to make it Mutual 2- 4 UCT 

Realising that losing isn't an option for this side, Agent decided it was time to make amends and ran through the whole of UCT before laying off to 6Pack who tapped in without stick-blocking. Mutual 3- 4 UCT 

UCT were now rocked and after some strong runs, a shorty was earned. Import could be heard laughing as he scored his hatrick. Mutual 4 - 4 UCT 

With 3 minutes to go and the game finally poised, Bondi decided to have one more go at the famous Carl. After a pinpoint pass from Curly was put out by UCT, Bondi took it quickly and quite easily beat the 3 beacons (defenders) and slotted home. Call it what you want, BMT, talent or just plain brilliance. Mutual 5- 4 UCT Unfortunately it was not to be and UCT earned a shorty in the last move which was put away by Carl.

End score: Mutual 5- 5 UCT

Well done to Giger and Agent on their debuts again.

Too good for (big) words

Brilliance personified

The Mighty 2s

Indoor Game Week #1 - vs Durbanville (Mens 2s)

The 2's finally getting back to me with an average at best match report. It doesn't look like the girls will be joining the blog anytime soon...

Match 1 vs Durbanville A

17 January 2012

The Mutual 2s got their indoor season off at Wynberg Military against Durbanville A. Still upset by their relegation from GC outdoor they brought all their parents for support.

Things to note from this game.

1: Need to hold onto the ball longer.

2: Watch teams counter attacks.

3: Need to give away fouls outside the D.

With 2 new debutants (Fanny and Dutch), we decided to start the game slowly so that they could see how mutual really play. The 1st couple of minutes weren't great but then in typical mutual fashion we finally turned it on once the ville had got a shorty. After a great save by Milky, we started attacking them time and time again and it was clear to see these dutchmen were fretting.

Ville decided that their keeper should be involved in attacks and after a pass was made into the D, their keeper stopped it and "tried" to pass it to their defender. It was quite clear to see why he is a keeper, as Bondi made a 5m burst and intercepted the pass, drawing the keeper and passing it to Dutch. Dutch seemed to think that the pass wasn't coming, yet controlled it well and scored from a metre out. Mutual 1-0 Dutchmen

From here it was ping-pong and after a goal disallowed for both teams Ville eventually they got a break-away and scored. Mutual 1- 1 Dutchmen

The 2nd half started much the same as before, with the Ville dominating. They forced a shorty and after every1 running 1st wave, they still managed a straight flick through. Mutual 1-2 Dutchmen

From here the team finally woke up and for the next 10 minutes fantastic hockey was played. Fanny showed some much needed class on debut, Curly making brilliant last-ditch tackles, Piles laughing at refs and therefore everything went our way, Milky breaking a schoolkid in half, Willson stickblocking even without the ball and Import pissing off his old club as per normal. With all these factors we won 2 shorties in quick succession, Import slotting one top right and Willson finishing off the game with a slip in the bottom corner.

Well done to Fanny and Dutch on their debuts.

End score. Mutual 3- 2 Dutchmen (aka Ville A)

Next game Sun 29 Jan vs UCT C.

Brilliance personified

The Mighty 2s

Indoor Game Week #2 - Pinelands (1's)

Good morning guys

OMF! My legs feel like they are about to fall off. Great running last night guys. We have played two out of the top three so far. So hopefully we can keep up our intensity for the next few games.

1.       A couple of platters went astray.

2.       Being caught in possession and those ‘Import/Schalk style’ diagonal balls weren’t working.

3.       Substitutions…I know you other guys want to score, but making substitutions so that all three flickers are on the side shouldn’t happen.

29 January 2012

Venue: Sunningdale

Opponents: Pinelands

We took the field to what would be another tough match. Vis shocked us all and won the toss, well there is a first time for everything. We decided to thrust the great responsibility of marking Team Bruce (TB) on Brundle. We second guess this decision momentarily when in the opening minute TB owned Brundle and dribbled thru most of the team before slipping a pass p-spot for a Pinelands player to finish off into the goals. Mutual 0 – 1 Pinelands.

We all hoped it wasn’t going to be one of those games where we get rail roaded, but less than a minute in a already a goal behind we feared the worst. But things were looking up. The tri-fector found themselves on the field 5 minutes into the match and started to find a few gaps here and there. Coming close a few times but not making the keeper work for it. Most of the half was spend running around like crazy people, then having a quick substitution to go throw up in the bathroom or pass out for a few minutes.

I remember briefly receiving the ball on the left hand side of the field. And slowly dribbling towards our goal line trying to open up space since I did not see a pass on. I ended up having to almost scribble Milky as I was running along our own base line screaming for help like a little girl. Luckily I composed myself, closed my eyes and flung the ball as hard as I could down the line out of danger.

……………Piles would like a mention in the match report since I left him out of the last one. He said he must have been kak because he wasn’t mentioned at all. At least he is a clever one. #toosoon.

The only short corner we had in the first half saw, due to bad captaincy, all three of the short corner flickers on the bench. Since Suffix was the last player taken off I blame the back line. AS was expected we didn’t score #toosoon. Our back decided that we weren’t defending enough and decided to add some more pressure by swinging some diagonal balls across the field. These passes were then picked up by Pinelands who went straight back to attacking us. Felt like we spent most of the half doing winders.

There were some heavy tackles thrown around, particularly directed at little Drummond. Vis and Bollie sending a message to the current players at Mutual that they shouldn’t leave the club…EVER! Or if they do it should be to a different province. Vis winning tackle of the night with a classic hand on them back and stick thru the legs tackle, coming nowhere close to the ball at all and getting a lifted eye brow from Leon. Amazing he saw that one #tellhim.

We defended like demons, keeping the score at 1-0 until half time. We put pressure on Pinelands when we needed to and ran around like complete nutters the entire half. Bollie making a sliding tackle that would have earned him a call up to the SA squad (bokke) had the selectors been watching. Milky kept us in the game late in the first half by saving a short corner flick.....with his face!Pablo was for once the violatee instead of being the violator when a Pinelands striker, what can only be described as, rammed into him from the back. The umpire said it looked like a foul, looked like 3^rd base to me. This is probably the reason Pablo had a smoke at half time.

 At half time I mentioned that either they had thrown oil on the pitch or I was getting faster, because all of a sudden I was slipping all over the place. Previously I have never been able to build up enough speed to make myself slip and now all of a sudden it was possible. After a 3 minute debate (we involved the opposition so it was more like a mass debate) we decided that they must have thrown oil on the floor.

And so the second half began, Pablo’s partner from the first half came over and apologised for being so rough earlier. This was greeted with smiles from both parties. We started a lot better than we did in the first half, by this I mean we did not concede in the opening minute. The first move of the big move of the second half saw Chef on p-spot with what we thought was a simple tap in. He must have been given a googly of a pass because we all watched as his deflection sailed wide.

Pinelands starting to feel some pressure and realising that they were not coasting thru this game at all put on the bunsen burners. Accelerator to the floor these guys looked like they were dressed up in red and yellow suits. (yes that was a reference to the flash) With boogies running forward to intercept a pass to their striker and missing, this ended up being a one on one with Milky. With another striker rushing in from the one saw it become a two on one and the ball was passed across a diving milky and smashed into the bottom corner not giving him mush chance at all. Mutual 0 – 2 Pinelands.

Mutual then got onto the attack again with Tosser making a …slow jog up the left hand side of the field after receiving a tester from Bollie. Making the defender commit and slipping it past him to Pablo, you must have realised from lately that he was on dry land. He didn’t have his usual blind pace which I thought would have improved because we now play at a venue closer to the sea.

Then I sat there on the side of the field and watched as Brendan ‘Pie eater’ Marsh single handedly took apart our defence. First to dropped Boogies like a cheap whore (great wording there Piles) then we seemed to even throw a few legs out and knee high sticks to slow him down. (As if he was actually moving that fast to begin with) Scrimmaging two more defenders and pulling Milky towards the baseline, he was able to finish into the bottom corner. Mutual 0 – 3 Pinelands.

Drummond wanting to prove a point to us, really did not do much. He was on the wrong end of a bad call which finally went our way. One of the most blatant back stick tackles I have ever seen, the only way it could have been worse was if I rugby tackled him, picked up the ball and threw a NFL style pass over head to Vis. Needless to say we got the ball and had another attack, forcing the keeper to pull off a decent save.

The last few minutes of the game seemed to fly by. With another short corner being given our way and again somehow all three flickers on the bench. I think Boogies wants to get on the score sheet so badly that he makes substitutions like this. Suffix pulling of a great tackle on Drummond smashes the ball thru to Piles who gets a great touch on the ball and directing it straight thru the keepers legs. NUTTTY! Mutual 1 – 3 Pinelands. Selector(s) finally getting some reward out of Piles after he didn’t feature in the previous match report.

In the dying moments of the game, Pablo received a ball from Tosser. Taking on the one defender and drawing the other slipped the ball to Vis you just needed to get some sort of contact on it, but he didn’t. Chef not liking the platters today. They ended off the game with a short corner, slipping the ball and flicking it high into the net. Bollie on the base line getting a touch on it, but not enough to deflect the ball out of the goals. Mutual 1 – 4 Pinelands.

A very hard fought game. We need to keep the intensity up for our midweek game against Team Denn….i mean Fishhoek. Which is one of our must win games. Maybe we could actually step off the gas a little so that we don’t have to run to the bathroom and empty our stomachs during the game.

Final Score Mutual 1 - 4 Pinelands

Next Game:

Thursday 2^nd @ 19h30 vs Fishhoek

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser

Indoor Game Week #2 - Milnerton (Titans)

24 January 2012
Venue: UCT A
Opponents: Milnerton

Welcome to the Titans match report. Titans was started as all the cool names, Spartans, Vikings have already been taken. And as Storti pointed out, if we play badly we can just shorten it to the tits.

We started the game with only 1 substitute, a terrible position for any team with myself in centre link. Titans opened well, scoring the first goal through a well worked pass from myself to Cracker (aka Christiano) who managed to slot the ball past a flailing keeper.

This seemed to spark the keeper into fine form, where every single short corner that I tried was picked out of the corners. Milnerton decided that a team with 2 players still in junior school could not win this game, and felt that 2 goals would discourage us from trying to win the game. However, as the second goal involved a slap while the Milnerton player was lying on the ground, with Els showing Titans ball and their umpire showing goal seemed to spur Titans into life.

While I explained to the umpire that I needed to wipe the attackers sweat off the floor before we started and Mini in full goalkeeper kit had a good scream at a nearby attacker, Tails, Eric, Cracker and Tim managed to win another short corner.

By this stage 15 short corners had resulted in 0 goals. Despite this, I felt that it might be a good time to do the responsible thing and let someone else take primary flick. This resulted in my brother making me look like a chop (1 PC, 1 goal, bottom left).

Next short corner (Tim taking a body check from a Milnerton defendor who didn't even try play the ball) I thought stick to what's best and put Cracker up to flick. The keeper managed to clip Cracker's foot with the edge of his stick and Cracker performed a 2 and half pike somersalt that would have made a professional footballer proud. Els could do nothing but award a p-flick.

I didn't score. In fairness, the keeper had to save it. He also asked me if I duffed it. I didn't. A final field goal from Tim, gave us a 3-2 lead. We played the best time wasting hockey I have seen in my life, working the game to a complete standstill. Milnerton got frustrated but with Tombraider dominating the back Milnerton weren't able to level it.

Solid performance from all players, but will need to improve before we demolish Vikings.

Shooter

Indoor Game Week #2 - vs UCT A (Mens 1s)

Good morning guys

Well the games certainly did

1.       Umpiring….we can’t change that. Let’s hope we don’t have Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber again. #tellthem

2.       5 Goals against UCT A side when some people (#Dowraffy) said we had no chance in winning, well done boys.

3.       We should take our opportunities. (Platters and *cough* *cough* P-flicks) – I will just leave this comment in here.

25 January 2012

Venue: Sunningdale

Opponents: UCT A

After warming up on the new Sunningdale courts, we made the stupid decision to keep Vis as acting captain who’s record now stands at 2-0. (That’s losing the toss twice) He will argue that he didn’t lose this toss, but they won it. Either was we started off what would be one of our 3 hardest games. If we thought UCT B was a fast paced game, you must realise that 3 minutes into the game I had to run to the bathroom to chunder the game was so fast paced. (And I was on the bench) 2/3’s of the Tri-fector started on the bench. And this was noticed as soon as we came onto the field. Suffix made a great little run thru the middle and we managed to force a short corner. Then came probably the most confusing minute of my life. I said slip, Vis said no go straight, then he said slip again as a UCT player walked past us, then changed his mind to straight. I had F-all idea on what was going on so just decided that the best way to respond to that was make a goal out of it. The most delicate slip was given to Suffix who buried it into the goals. Mutual 1-0 UCT A

We were all still celebrating the goal when UCT centred off and one guy basically ran thru our whole side and scored…. Mutual 1-1 UCT A

Yeah it was that quick. About 3 seconds. Almost as quick as Dorathys sex life. Chef looked at this and decided whatever UCT could do, he probably couldn’t do but he would try anyway. Receiving a ball from Brundle, scribbling the defender and going wide round the keeper, he slipped a platter to me which took a nasty deflection towards goals. Seeing my opportunity I lunged forward to poach a goal and half way there decided it was UCT A, let Chef have a goal against them. Had this happened at the end of the match KOF, I would have taken it. Mutual 2-1 UCT A

Karma Sutra realising it was his time to shine gave a ball to Chef, smashing it off the boards, I don’t recall it happening like this. But he scrimimamaged the entire UCT side before slipping it past the keeper. Mutual (&TeamVis) 3-1 UCT A

Almost in trouble straight away again. UCT scramble in the circle and get a shot off after Milky has pulled off 3 fantastic saves, Bollie takes one for the team and gives away a stroke. UCT must have watched our previous game, because they took pointers from Bob, smashing the ball into Milky's pads. What a moral boosting save.

I was then schooled in the ‘new rules’ the umpires were given to trial out in our game. (only our game) Apparently deliberately breaking down play is now considered a skill after watching a UCT player kick the ball away as we were about to take a 16. Dowraffy then decided to verbally caution Brundle because breaking down play was now considered a skill. Moments later, the most blatant stick block I have ever seen, in front of Dowraffy, was given against me. OK I know I’m not the best tackler, but by this point in the game I was too tired to move or swing my stick at the player. And lastly, hacking is now a good tackle, after seeing Pablo get his stick smashed to shit in the circle and play being allowed to continue. (Dowraffy 3 – 0 WPHU)

UCT childish as ever, decided to run us ragged in the dying minutes of the first half. 3 v 5 in the circle and they  managed to have a man open on p-spot, Milky having no chance to get a glove on it. Mutual 3-2 UCT A

Thus ending the half. Most of the half time team talk was spent with huge smiles on our faces because we were winning. Vis thru in a bit of tact which we have come to expect from him. I gave my usual speech when playing against top sides “it doesn’t matter who wins as long as you have fun” to which Pablo had to pipe up with “Te voy a matar, puto”…..We not sure what he meant but I know one of those words mean kill. Hearing this we decided to start Pablo on the bench.

UCT started the second half with fury wanting to get ahead fast. We held them for a couple of minutes before they were awarded a short corner which they made our first and second wave run all over the place before taking a shot which Milky saved then following up and smashing it into the goals. Mutual 3-3 UCT A

UCT were now on a bit of a run, gaining a bit of momentum after their last goal, making a dart down the right but Bollie was there to block it off. Pity Bollie has not mastered the new rule of breaking down play and kicking the ball away, UCT taking the free hit quickly and laying off a pass to their middle man. He might have been able to take a shot and score, but Pablo made sure it was his last contribution to the game. I think he shanked him, but I’m not going to start accusing a guy with a family that takes up half the space in Mexico. Mutual 3-4 UCT A

A little on the back foot and defending like demons we found a little space. KSutra taking a quick free hit to the Mexican who fake slapped it all the way across the field to Chef who was happy to pick up the platter and also his hatrick. Back on level terms. Mutual 4-4 UCT A

I have no idea how this happened, but noticing Bollie’s run up the side of the field, I also noticed he had a raging nose bleed. I don’t think he has ever been that high up on the field. The altitude up front must have affected him. (KSutra suffers from the same thing) Chef selfishly slips a ball into his path, one touch he saw himself open in the circle. With the keeper running out, he composed himself and flipped the ball over the keeper. We had a vote and most people thought it was going wide. But we will give it to him, the defender taking a slight touch on the way thru and the ball smashing the top corner of the goals. Mutual 5-4 UCT A

Were held UCT for a while longer, until Bollie decided to take a 16 from the baseline pushing it straight to a UCT player and after bouncing the ball around a bit, they created space for themselves. The striker finding himself open on top D, smashing the ball into the roof. Very childish. Mutual 5-5 UCT A

After a few well worked moves round the back. We found our way into their circle and forcing a shorty. Pablo did fantastically to flick the ball past the keeper hitting a UCT player on the line giving us a p-flick. Much to all our surprise Vis decided to pick Bob after his blunder last week. With all his talk about redeeming himself we thought we would definitely go ahead. To describe his p-flick is going to be hard. But I’m sure I saw it on the back of a milk carton the next morning. “MISSING” that’s right. Setting a new record, missing two p-flicks in two games. Straight at the keeper. To make things worse I’m pretty sure it bounced before it hit the keeper.

Then the umpires decided to get involved again, thinking that ‘we had no chance to begin with’ a few shitty decisions we wouldn’t moan about. Suffix went on one of his runs down the centre of the field the ball hitting a UCT stick and lifting. Mutual then pushed up to take the hit and before we knew it, the umpire had his hand pointed in the opposite direction. UCT quickly taking the free hit while we wondered what exactly happened and they scored their 6^th goal. Mutual 5-6 UCT A

After that it was the same thing again. UCT lifting the ball in the centre of the pitch, And yes before you say it ‘play to the whistle’ I know, but when it’s that blatant that a guy throws an overhead to his striker you seem to stop. With Mutual on the back foot, Pablo did what he could and carved another player on p-spot. Now the umpires seemed to open their eyes and awarded a p-flick. Pablo really wanted the UCT player to miss it so that there would be one worse off player than him missing twice in one game. UCT made no mistake burying the ball in the bottom corner. Mutual 5-7 UCT A

All in all a great game to watch, the boys did well barring Pablo’s flick. #toosoon.

Dorathy ending the game with 2 assists and a whole lot of compliments or complaints the next day.

I know it’s far out for our supporters to come watch us play, but I miss them like a Bob p-flick

Till next time.

Final Score Mutual 5 – 7 UCT A

Next Game:

29^th January 2012 vs Pinelands @20h00 at Sunningdale

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser

Indoor Game Week #2 - vs Reddam B (Vikings)

Morning all,

Well the second game of this year’s season went off better than the first.

However a number of things still need to be dealt with.

Points to ponder:

1.       Only one goal conceded with no goalie

2.       Return of puppy to the side after his ankle injury,

3.       Allowing the other team to dictate our movement

4.       Platters not being dealt with.

24 January 2012

Venue – UCT

Opponents – Reddam B

So before the game started there was extreme excitement when Vis’s Mom arrived! (she had our new kit)

The new kit was being delivered, and some of the new boys couldn’t contain themselves as the put on their very own Vikings shirts! I think someone had to run to the toilet to clean up!

During the warm up we were waiting for our opponents only to realise they were cowering in the corner anticipating a beating, we sent Jordy over to let them we did not have a keeper and they had a chance.

Not sure how M5 Works cause I have not seen anyone go toss so I assume we won and kept the side we were on and got the ball.

So after the start we passed the ball around trying to see how much the Reddam boys wanted to run and they obliged by chasing after it! We attempted to keep it away from them as much as possible. Our first goal came courtesy of good work down the side-line and then up the base line pushing it passed the keeper and laying it up for Jordy at P-spot. As well as this worked we were far from great in this same process having speedo, Speedbump and Jordy all missing platters (keeper lying on the floor).

Goal number two came from a short corner, speedo dribble flicked the ball at the keeper, and KFM running in for the rebound scored the goal and bounced a 12 year old into the stands, we were not even sure the kid would get up after the hit, but after KFM apologised profusely, he got up.

In-between goal 2 and 3 there was a lot of great running moves from myself, I am slowly but surely learning how to play indoor hockey (4 years later). Goal 3 Was more of the same free hit from the back up the boards into the middle of the pitch slip to Speedo and goal. Sounds easy? (it was)

Half time came and the team talk was rather interesting, moaning about the umpires missing stuff (surprisingly not so much goose this time) KFM saying the kids weren’t playing honesty calls everyone else wondering what honesty calls are and Speedbump sending Jordy to get the red bulls, which I think Jordy basically polished off on his own, this was quite evident at the start of the second half when he never stopped running and never asked to be subbed.

The Reddam boys started the second half with a little more intent, constantly shouting rotate, (I think was to confuse us) some of our guys kept following their players but eventually we got the hang of the movement and waited for them to move into our space and tackle.

Goals 4 - 8 all came from the same sort of move we get a 16 yard the Reddam boys pressed on us creating a gap in midfield, pass goes top d and slip passed the keeper for a goal, however I will admit the Vikings have a tendency to aim at the keeper or their own player whichever is the more difficult target.

A number of interesting shots at goal were blocked by the Vikings players off their own teammates shots, but we will leave that for another time. I went on a couple great runs one starting deep in our half getting into the opponents D and going for a reverse flick I think I almost hit the ref in the head, that’s probably why he blew it up I’m not so sure.

They pulled a consolation goal back, but there celebrations were so dismal after their whipping that it was assumed.

Bruce clearly having listened to Tosser’s constructive criticism at the old boys game seemed to dribbling less and passing more, I think he has a point to prove. (watch this space) Puppy is definitely back as he had a monstrous run from our baseline to their baseline ensuring that he dribbled passed all 7 players on the field. (their 6 and 1 of ours) Speedbump stayed on his feet and was able to score 1.

Kfm was relatively quiet during this week’s match I was rather surprised, I think bouncing that kid calmed him down. Speedo, was disappointed with his performance even though he scored a hatrick, but missed a number of good opportunities, I think not having to moan at KFM during the match to calm him, may have affected the performance.

Jordy, is a young man with a bright future after being beat up in the previous match by guys much bigger than him he was able to hit back at 1 or 2 boys who were smaller than him this week and he made it worth his while by netting 3 great goals. Myself well, I didn’t play to badly and after the game I was still walking even after the keeper tripped and pinned me down, was a bit worried when pushed down on my ass to get up!

All in all a good win, still a lot to do to get through the season but well done guys!

Final Score 8 – 1  

Next game: 

Wed 8th February @ 19h30 vs Durbanville C at UCT

Your one and only Movember Man

Elsie

(Paid for advertising) 

Newlands - SA vs Sri Lanka (3rd Test, Day 1)

Piles had the great idea a few weeks back to book for the first day of the SA vs Sri Lanka 3^rd test and what a great idea it was. Firstly yes I know it has taken me a while to blog about this. But for once I have actually been working at this place that I thought paid me to sit here and use their internet. I have had to call a couple labour lawyers to see if this was actually legal. Apparently this happens to everyone? It’s so annoying, as soon as I finish something they just give me more to do? It’s an endless cycle.

So anyway this was a few days ago at the beginning of the year. So I will tell you about what I remember. The cricket was kind of boring until around 11h00, this was about the time Castle corner opened. I have never seen so many happy people in one place since we won the Rugby World Cup. The first beer I must admit went down like razor blades, but at 11h30 by the time the third one was going down, it was going down like mothers milk. We decided that if we carried on at this rate that by 12h30 we would be clinically dead. We decided to take it a little easy until lunch time. Giving us an hour to watch the cricket.

LG decided to bring his new flavour of the month. Apparently this guy has a mouth like a vacuum cleaner…..#justsaying. If you notice in the pic below, LG seems to have an abundance of hair on the right side of his head. His simple explanation was that the clipper broke, so he left it. For a day. Yeah I don’t understand either. It was getting to lunch time. So we decided to start smashing beers again, it was also around this time that my face started to melt off. It must have been the hottest day in the world. Between lunch and 17h00 it felt like I lost time. But looking in my hands I was carrying 8 empty draught castle cups. So I realise the time must have been right. Although there wasn’t much cricket watch. I got to see all the important things like Petersen getting to his 100 and JK smashing 100 (not out).

 Quite late in the day Bollie was still there, he must have been parked in.#tellher. And a normally rare appearance by Bruno Timberlake (Or Jusin Mars) which have been getting more and more frequent lately. All in all a great day at the cricket. I had to disappear off towards the shade on the far side of the field before calling it a day after watching JK get to 150 (not out). Sad part was that I had to go to work the next day. I think I smelt like beer until the Friday.

Indoor Game Week #1 - vs Durbanville (Mens 3s)

A scrappy 1^st game resulting in our 1^st victory and one step closer to making the next semi’s. A new team finding its synergy:

1.      Welcome to Luke and Dave to Mutual Hockey.

2.      Hat-trick by Dorathy.

19 January 2012

Venue: UCT A

Opponents: Durbanville B

Having arrived late to umpire the ladies 4^th / 5^th teams, I arrived just in time do the toss with one sock on after winning the toss. Sidelining myself for the start of game to watch the new team and get my other sock in.

The 3rds being a new team not use to playing together had a rough start. With durbanville key players been there 3 forwards, moving well upfront and slight confusion resulted in an unmarked player netting a goal. By this pointed I was ready to come and stepped on the field and the durbanville goals dried up. Go Mutual.

After back and forth play with neither team creating any chances, we got yet another shorty and went with our general plan of attack push out to deny stopping and let Dorathy take the drag. Goalie rushes out again and doesn’t get down in time, dorathy slots it just inside far post. GOAL 1-1.

With Sparky not arriving for the game (well was his birthday) we only had one reserve, but were rotating well. Players ended up in the wrong position with Deny and myself both taking a turn up front. Which almost resulted in our 2^nd goal, after I receiving the ball open on top D and taking it in I rounded the diving keeper, back stick shot and stick safe.With Bum and Dave been met by a rushing keeper every time they entered the D, opportunities were far and few between, with Dorathy making the keeper work on a few occasions, before finally almost taking the defender’s head off on far post. 2-1 at half time.

Hot sweaty and tired half time break was welcome, the unfit team with a single reserve. The 3rds were tiring out. Durbanville having 3 reserves (using one as the umpire) in the 2^nd half there umpire could be called useless, but that would have been kind. Both umpires that half didn’t know what a whistle was never mind how to use it. Thank goodness for Els blowing all the obvious calls the ‘Hi, I play hockey so I know the rules, idiot’ umpires and overturning a few shockers.

A dull 2^nd half didn’t see any excitement, other than durbanville getting more agitated by still being behind and Dorathy netting his 3^rd drag. A tired side denied durbanville another goal, with the help of Mini making some good saves and Luke tackling like a demon. Final Score 3-1 and the 1^st victory of the season.

Final Score Mutual 3 –1 Durbanville B

Next Game:

Tuesday 24^th January vs Bellville B @20h30 at UCT

Your esteemed Mens Club Captain

Goose

Indoor Game week #1 - vs Milnerton (Vikings)

I have asked the other captains to send me a little write up about their games so that we all know what happened during the game week. This blog was brought to you courtesy of Speedbump.

18 January 2012

Venue: UCT

Opponents: Millies

After a long holiday, the boys were so keen to play or must I say..
Ready to win!! The game started very relaxing until our little wing Jordan skilled

his defender and made him look like someone who does not belong on the
court. The defender could not handle the punishment and start pushing little
Jordan around. (Jordan is half the defender’s size, no jokes!!) But
little Jordan sorted him out quickly, by sending him for sticthes on
the knee (dynamite comes in small packets) Welcome to the Vikings..


As game goes on, score was 1-1 half time but not for long.
After a short half time, the other team could not wait to get back on
the court to attack the umpire (Goose) I was not sure if KFM was
playing for them or us cause he was also chirping the umpire aswell
until we all saw Bruce making a pass to another player, yes he does
know how to pass. Well done buddy..

As the game goes on and speedbump staying on his feet we scored
another 2 goals and won the game 3-1. Well done boys!!

Final Score Vikings 3- 1 win

Next Game: 

Tuesday,  vs Reddam B, 18:30pm at UCT

Indoor Game Week #1 - vs UCT B (Mens 1s)

Good morning guys

Well the first game of the year has come and gone. We knew this was going to be a tough match and I think we did rather well. Games are only going to get tougher.

1.  Clean sheet.

2.   Running was good, except we should rotate more often.

3.   We should take our opportunities. (Platters and *cough* *cough* P-flicks)

18 January 2012

Venue: Wynberg Military Base

Opponents: UCT B

Well to get things started, Vis (acting captain – after his performance at the toss I think we should vote) decided to start the season off losing the toss. He obviously has not been reading my blog. At least 50% of the time its always mountains. So we had to play our first half of the new season into the sun and uphill. Well at least it felt uphill because after 5 minutes (if it was even that long) I ran …….ok first jogged…really, fine I walked off the field and almost chundered. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, who ever said that was a liar. I didn’t die, but my legs felt like they were going to fall off.

To be honest, I’m still quite dehydrated from last night and I’m not even sure in what order these events happened. But I will do my best to go thru the ‘highlights’ real as best I can. So UCT started off with the ball. In prior years this has been our most competitive game since we are both almost equal in strength. The Tri-fector took their positions (as our front three has become known as) applying some fantastic pressure and our backs marking well, not giving UCT any easy chances. Our first chance came after a few minutes, a well worked ball around the back and eventually making it to Tosser on the right. Smashing the ball across to Pablo just off top D, he misses it and has to turn and collect. His attempt after that was weak. Which brings us to our first short corner of the match. I think the Hulk must have been sick because we had Bruce Banner pushing out. Besides the fact that this 16 year old keeper seemed quicker than Usain Bolt and I put the ball straight into his pads. I blame the push out and the stop.

After that we defended like demons, giving UCT very little possession in our circle. They counted more on break away’s and quick thru balls. The first platter of the season was served, A great, yet dodgy diagonal ball from Boogies ‘top scorer’ Belman with a one-time pass from Tosser saw Vis in acres of space deflecting the ball narrowly wide….but still wide. Again we defended for a while, something that it seems we are going to have to get used to in this league. Out of nothing (I’m not sure if this was a break away or a cracker of a ball from the back), Vis received the ball inside the opposition half, taking on one player then one on one with the keeper. The only way these guys were going to stop Team Vis was by bringing him down. To Vis’ credit, he did semi-hand off (#tellSolly) the first bad tackle to make sure that he could ‘Oscar’ when the next bad one came his way. Being awarded a P-flick, the P-flick tacker (whose main reason for taking all the P-flicks is that he has not missed one) stepped up to put us ‘1-0’ up. But it never happened. His meek attempt at a flick was saved by a pubescent teenager who will only be able to grow facial hair by the time Pablo gets his citizenship.

Tosser has filled his quota for the season having already pulled off a goal saving tackle. Lime obviously has been watching a lot of Twilight because he tried to bite me in the shoulder before I knocked him to the ground. There were a nervy last few minutes before the end of the first half. UCT having their best chance right near the end with a deflection from Lime, narrowly sailing over the bar.

We all went outside so that some of us could chunder and have our tactical half time talk. It’s still early season and seemed like we got Team Vis in a good mood. So with the scores level at half time we decided to get the second half on the way.

After a few minutes of back and forth we got our second short corner of the game, great tactical move by Boogies coming off as we were taking the short corner. lol. Bob stepped up for a straight drag wanting to redeem himself for his missed flick…..but that didn’t happen. Although we got another short corner, the resulting shorty was a telegraphed slip by Suffix to Bob which ended up in a UCT counter and thanks to Fridge we stayed at 0-0.

A little while later Tosser made a superb run down the right hand side of the field and what can only be described as an ‘accidental stick block’ resulted in us getting another short corner. Then it was Bob’s turn to have a weak slip to Tosser. So I think it’s fair to say that short corners were not working for us today.

Credit must go to our short corner defence team who kept out all those UCT short corners given away by Boogies ‘karma sutra’ Belman, sliding on the floor, splits and bending over like he is doing the limbo. Then all of a sudden from trying to start a new competition (the strikers had the platter awards last season) the defenders thought they would try out for assist of the season, there is a reason ‘ass’ is used when spelling ‘assist’. These guys were winging balls at top D for the UCT strikers to run onto. Probably wanting Fridge to get a little more involved in the game.

The last short corner was a bit nail biting with time finished and the shorty being the last play of the game. Tosser providing a great starting block for Vis who a few times almost broke his ankle when pushing off as first wave. UCT made a hash of the corner and Team Vis was there to pounce. So credit for the 0-0 must go to the whole team. Our defence for standing strong, Suffix for getting a yellow and making us work for it, the shorty defence team and the strikers for not scoring, with special mention going to Pablo. #toosoon?

Final Score Mutual 0 – 0 UCT B

Next Game:

UCT A @21h30 at Sunningdale

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser

Player Profile #14 - Snail

Full Name: Hayley Nel                                                   Nickname: Snail

Date of birth:  08-10-1987                                             Star sign: Libra  

Playing position:  CF (any forward)                                Year joined the club: 2007

Let me first say that it was so annoying filling in Snails questionnaire. The ‘A’ button on her blackberry broke so she has been using ‘@’ which means I can’t copy/paste her answers. WHAT a mission, you won’t believe how many times you use ‘a’ when typing (23 times so far #justsaying)

Our little Snail has really blossomed over the years. But saying this, you have more chance of living thru an atom bomb detonation than seeing her in heels more than once a year. And that day would be the hockey dance, until about 9.lol. And her notorious loud laugh could probably be heard in another country

Snail is our local tennis pro and you know what they say about tennis pro’s. Selecting Tiger as her home ground, having numerous victories against various opponents. ‘Eye’-ing out the ‘short’ competition and having a ‘bang’ of a good time scoring points. Do you see what I did there. Lol

Favourite sexual position:  Reverse wheelbarrel death roll. That’s how I roll.

Siblings: 2 older brothers

            Would you say your sibling is sexy? No, I got all the good looks ;) they got the brains

Bra size: 34A

Relationship status: Single

Favourite ‘down down’ song: Here’s to Snail she’s so blue, she’s a drunken thru and thru. She’s a basterd so they say, tried to go to heaven but she went the other way. Singing 1,2,3,4,5

Catch phrase: (deep breath) ……………………… BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAH, True story

Favourite colour: Green

Most embarrassing moment: I own all of them though. I've mastered the art of laughing at myself

Weirdest/worst habit: weirdest...umm...not sure actually. Worst...smoking

Beverage of choice: Savannah Light, Vodka

My signature dish is: Braai, bacon&eggs...lol

(and that was 123 ‘A’s #justsaying)

New Years in the Valley 2011/2012

First of all let me just say I know you all missed me. It’s been a while since I have graced you with my presence. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and a New Year’s that they actually remembered.  We started off New Year’s Eve in style grabbing a quick beer or 3 with mates from Bloem at Llandudno. Yes that’s right, I’m a laany.  Then we put on our gang neutral colours and made our way to the Valley.

After getting all our bag in and making sure the booze was on ice we decided it was time to get the party started.  Suit cases! Waaay too soon.  But that’s just how we roll at Mutual. I must say the Valley is really not what I expected, people were a lot friendlier and there were hardly any guns around. Well done Tatty for organising everyone (including Basil) a lay upon arrival. Yip, that just happened. So a couple of beers down and I decided to test how hospitable the Thomas’ really are. And to my surprise, they welcomed me with open arms. Yes Tatty, I wasn’t lying when I told your dad “I’ve got your back”.

Pretty soon the sun was starting to set and after a couple of dips in the pool, Chef Vis decided it was time to get his braai on. While the meat was on the braai, Mother Thomas decided to bring out a couple of snacks. The most awesome pies I have ever had combo’d with what I thought was tomato sauce, which literally burnt my lips off.

With New Years around the corner Pablo’s friend Mr. Ponchos made a turn and after that it seems like things were headed one way. A couple more dips in the pool and a couple of more beers and I started to wonder if most of us would even make New Years. The beers eventually became Vodka/Redbulls and our barman/minion was doing a great job. Vis and I are still wondering how Finley ended up like he did at the end of the night if he was pouring. Instead of ‘naai jou maatjie’ he was playing ‘naai jouself’. But we will get back to that a little later. So after a couple of bevy’s as always we seem to get rather friendly.

Thankfully it was round about this time that Chef decided we were all allowed to eat. So we all sat down and decided to line our stomachs a bit more for round 2. And then things kinda carried on right where we had left off. This time the ladies brought their ‘ladies’ to the party. YES PLEASE!!

With New Years approaching fast it seemed like a ‘whole new world’ was on the horizon. ‘ A dazzling place I never knew’, yeah you know I just did that.Ok fine it was kinda lame. So flying into the New Year, champagne bottles already open and ready to pop. And of course there is always that guy who pre maturely pop, 10 minutes too soon. Young Frodo Baggins could not contain his excitement and splurged everywhere.

With everyone anticipating the count down and 5FM blaring we brought in New Years with a bang. And after the champagne showers everyone stripped down and jumped into the pool all taking a turn with the underwater camera. Well I hope it was one, otherwise someone owes Tatty another camera.

With everyone starting to get a little nippy outside we decided to move the party inside, oh yes, time to hit the jacuzzi. Look at the talent we had to work with. BOOOM. Special mention must be made of Snail and Tattys gum boot New Years celebration.

After a few hand offs that Ioane would have been proud of, and a couple of punches being thrown it seemed like everyone had secured their seat. For some reason we only always seemed to have one lady around……im sure she liked her odds.

Finley looked so angry.Maybe this was the start of his down fall….. As at every party, people started disappearing to the comforts of a bed. Tatty was the first casualty, explaining to everyone that she was only going to rest her eyes for half an hour then she would be back. Which is bullshit for two reasons. Firstly she sleeps with her eyes open (Bondi can vouch for this) and secondly she never came back. 

Then the guys decided to have a photo taken. I think at this time Basil was in the corner singing some Celine Dion which is probably why he isnt in the picture. Notice Finely now sporting his birth right, the ninja eyes. This is probably when things went really south for him. He did end off the night trying to paint pavement pizza’s on Tatty’s sisters walls, then surprisingly for such a small chap had enough left in his tank for both bathrooms and tried to chunder a moat around the house. Top form bud, we will take that as initiation passed.

I’m pretty sure I was apart of a threesome for a while im the dying moments in the jacuzzi before I decided to call it a night. There is always a flourishing romance around the New Year. But as always what happens at the club, stays at the club….and on this blog….and on facebook….and BBM….and probably Twitter now as well. Besides Basils raunchy sex talk ‘in his sleep’ and Finley/Limpe trying to paint the walls in the bathrooms, the night was quite peaceful. I did wake up during the night and sleepwalk/sleeptakepics and found this pic on my phone the next morning of LG in what can only be described and a struggle snuggle.

The next morning looking like a war field after a battle, we managed to pull ourselves together long enough to have break fast (scrambled eggs…. Between the legs) and all gather around the pc so that we could help each other piece together the happenings of the night before. I also realised that there was a video where my future children madean apprearance.

What a great way to start 2012.