Songs 3

And so we have the third instalment of ‘down-down’ songs. Again I do apologise for all the swearing and the crude language. But lets face it, whats a ‘drinking’ song without a couple of F-bombs?

Song 6: (Mutual Favourite)

Where does he come from???? FINLAND!!! What does he speak FINISH!! FINISH!!!!

Song 7: (Mutual Favourite)

A zebra has two stripes, the one goes up and the other goes.... DOWN DOWN DOWN!!!

Song 8:

If you go down to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise, cause all the trees will be chopped down, down, down

(Alternative)

If you go down to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise, cause mom and dad are having a shag and aunty Gill is fucking her granddad and – all – I – wanted – was – to – go – for a PIC-NIC!

Song 9:

You’re not welcome on my ship, on my ship. You’re not welcome on my ship, on my ship.

*Cause my ship is a tanker and you’re a fucking wanker.*

You’re not welcome on my ship, ship, ship.

*Cause my ship is a yacht and you’re a fucking twat*

*Cause my tree is a oak and you’re a fucking joke*

Song 10:

Down by the station early in the morning. See all the engines standing in a row. Out comes the driver pull out his watch and ‘choo choo’, away we go go go go.

So that takes us to 10 songs so far. I am guessing most people know these ones.

But there will definitely be a few gems coming up soon.

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser

Songs - 2 (Tampax Factory)

Aaaaah yes, a new song. This is one of those songs that can be sun sitting around a braai, during a walk to the field (Of which we had many in Grahamstown) or after fines when everyone is feeling jolly.

After some careful listening and a little bit of googling - this is what i have picked up. Please if you have any more versus feel free to drop me a line and i will modify the post. Have a read, there are a goodies, MaHolly was not a huge fan of them when i sang it to her.lol

*Far away in the Tampax Factory,

Shout out your orders loud and clear,

We have small, medium, large,

Super-duper like a barge

When the end of the month comes around*

You can tell by the frown that you'll have to pot the brown,

When the time of the month comes around

*Chorus*

You can tell by the blister that you'll have to fuck her sister,

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the stench that she's got a septic trench

When the time of the month comes around 

  

You can tell by the smell that the babies gone to hell

When the time of the month comes around 

  

You can tell by the taste that it isn't salmon paste

When the time of the month comes around 

  

You can tell when she's boggin that she's seeping haemoglobin 

When the time of the month comes around 

  

You can tell by the string that you'll have to do her ring

When the time of the month comes around 

  

You can tell by the hum that you'll have to shag her mum 

When the time of the month comes around 

  

You can tell by the bleeding it's her sister you'll be seeding

When the time of the month comes around

You can tellny the stench that she's got a dirty trench

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell form the rope that you haven't got a hope

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the stink that she's dripping from the pink

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell from the red that your only getting head

When the time of the month comes around

you can tell by the pad that you'll have to fuck her dad

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by her whinning that she's shredding uterus lining

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by her sheet that its time to beat your meat

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the sludge that it isn't Cadburys fudge

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell, by the smell, that she isn't very well

When the time of the month comes around

When she asks you for a dime, you will know it’s her ragtime

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the smell that there’s trouble in the well,

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by her walk that you’re gonna sit and talk,

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the look that you shoulda read a book,

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the lump that you’re only gonna dry hump,

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by her legs that she’s about to drop her eggs,

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the stench that she's got a gammy trench....

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the moning that she's leaking heamoglobin

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the blotch that she’s got a leaky crotch…

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by her eyes there is blood between her thighs…

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out…

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by her stance that she’s bleeding in her pants…

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches…

When the time of the month comes around

You can bet it ain’t sweat when her underwear is wet…

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the stink that she isn’t in the pink…

When the time of the month comes around

You can tell by the red that the embryo is dead… 

When the time of the month comes around

(Thank you Villiages Fourths)

Songs - 1

Wow, things have been quiet for a while. Probably since we have been on break for 3 weeks. I have been out of the “Blogisphere” for almost a month and I thought this would be a great time to post a couple of “drinking” songs since I know there are so many people at the club who like to stick with the same shit every time they get called upon to start one.

These include “The Hula” and “Here’s to –insert name- he’s so blue..”

Although no one like a show off #MikeMuller, this guy (Who sadly started his playing career at Milnerton) is a great person to learn a few songs from. Sadly over the past weekend he decided to teach the WPCD team a couple of these songs, however he cannot merely teach us a song, we would have to end each song by smashing a beer in our faces.

So I thought I would start off with the ‘quicks’/favourites we all know to get the ball rolling, then later get into the longer songs. There are also a few which are rather long and could probably go on for quite a while like Chicago, Tampax Factory and Sing us another one.

But let us get into the shorter ones first.

Song 1: (Mutual Favourite)

Here’s to Randy and the way he does the hoola!! Here’s to Randy and the way he does the Hoola!!! The Hooooooooollllaaaaaaa!!!!

Hoola Hoola la – Hoola Hoola la

*Depending on how much you want the person to suffer you can always add on to this.

EG. Here’s to Randy and the way he does the hoola hop spin.

Song 2: (Mutual Favourite)

Here’s to Snail she’s so blue, she’s a drunken thru and thru. She’s a basterd so they say, tried to go to heaven but she went the other way. Singing 1,2,3,4,5

Song 3: (Mutual Favourite)

We are the World, we are the children…We are the one’s who get fuck drunk every night drink drink drink drink!!!!

*Sometimes at the end of songs you will hear guys singing “Na na na na na na” Instead of singing 1,2,3,4,5 – I have recently been informed that this should be done the tune of ‘Scotland the brave’. It also involved everyone swinging their hand and jumping around.

Song 4: (Mutual Favourite)

Put your left leg over my shoulder! Put your right leg over my shoulder! Brrrrrrrr! Suck it like a mango!!! Na na na na

Song 5: (Mutual Favourite)

Here’s to old Bob, old Bob, old Bob. Here’s to old Bob the dirty old shit.

*He keeps us awaiting while he’s masturbating, *

here’s to old Bob the dirty old shit. Singing 1,2,3,4,5…

Optional other verses….

*He sits in his office and plays with his toffus,

*He sits on the steeple and shits on the people,

*He’s happy he’s jolly, he’s fucked off his trolly,

Well that concludes the usual ones. In the upcoming weeks we will hopefully get most of the songs posted and with some practice everyone will be ready for the end of season fines.

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser