Zebra & Giraffe – Kirstenbosch (26-12-2011)

Twas the day after Christmas, we probably had the hottest day in Cape Town EVER and were given tickets to watch Zebra and Giraffe play at Kirstenbosch. (Thanks Tatty) So we met up with the crowd in the boiling hot sun, almost melting our faces off. Gerry looked like Patrick Ewing in the 4^th quarter, he was glistening like one of those guys from Twilight in the sun.

Obviously we turned to our trusty friend to keep us cool, Mr Booze, and he was flowing as usual. A couple of bottles of Blush, some wine, throw in a couple of Brutal Fruits and of course beers and things were either starting to get cooler or our senses just kept dulling. Either way we were able to handle the heat, sit back and enjoy some Zebra & Giraffe.

Did I mention there was Blush? Yes lots of it. The ladies were sucking it down like mother milk.

The ladies were able to sneak in and grab a pic with Greg Carlin after the show. (Lead vocals and guitar or ‘kituar’ as Lol was pronouncing it) Giggling like little school girls I had to try explain to Greg that they don’t get out much and unlike me (being a famous blogger) they aren’t used to being around famous people.

The ladies got a little champagne wasted and decided they also wanted to be rock stars. Pity Spur and Vis weren’t there with their guitar hero (FYI #Best wedding present EVER) otherwise we would have tried to hook that up and have a jam session on the stage. They weren’t even booed off the stage, but a few of the guys in the crowd were shouting ‘show us your tits love’. And when I say guys, I mean me.

After leaving Kirstenbosch we decided we should hit Hooters, sounding like a great idea at the time. It was closed, not cool! So was De Kelder and Bunker Bar. Feeling defeated we put our tails between our legs, we went to McDonalds, pretty much the only place left open  and ended off at my house. (Or my parents house) Tatty having a ‘quick’ power nap failed miserably and was out for the entire night.- Good thing she did because that double Quarter Pounder with cheese of hers was awesome the next morning.

Lucky enough Habid and I were able to catch the Man United game a few hours late since I had it on PVR, the ladies all nursing ‘pre-hangovers’ decided that they couldn’t handle the pace and slowly started fading.

Another good day/night out. Check out the bands web site

http://www.zebraandgiraffe.co.za/home.html

Looking forward to New Years!

Player Profile #12 - Els

Full Name: Shawn Edward Els                   Nickname: Els

Date of birth:  18-09-1980                         Star sign: Virgo

Playing position: Striker (I think)                 Year joined the club: 2008

Aaaah, Els. The man who has taken the Movember Tournament from a dream into reality. He will also be helping organise the first ever Mutual Golf day. Yes it’s a process, we keep hitting bumps along the way. Last place said no booze on the course. We almost had a heart attack and had to cancel. Looks like we will be looking at September to have it since we are having problems all round.

One of the few married peeps at the club, I’ve had the pleasure of joining him and his wife, D, to many a boozy dinner. Latest one being the fondue we had where I don’t even remember getting home. I think they roofied me. But I was told the next day that I had an awesome time.

Last year deciding that he wanted to stop doing the hockey part of his club life and focus more on the behind the scenes part, which we all agree he is so much better at. lol. We all agree he has done a great job so far.

Wishing him luck with his new venture of starting his own business.

Favourite sexual position: Cowgirl

Siblings: 3

Would you say your sibling is sexy? No I am the only sexy one

Bra size: N/A

Relationship status: Married

Favourite ‘down down’ song: What do they speak in Finland? Finish finish finish.....

Catch phrase: That’s what she said, (normally after D says something)

Favourite colour: Blue

Most embarrassing moment: getting run over by a bakkie, because i was chasing a dog across the road!

Weirdest/worst habit: Thinking i can play Hockey

Beverage of choice: Spice Gold and Coke

Player Profile #11- Dodo

Full Name: Danielle Van Cuyck                            Nickname: Dodo

Date of birth:  30-05-1987                                   Star sign: Gemini (pronounced Geminaaaai)

Playing position:  link                                            Year joined the club: 2008

Aaaaah Dodo, so sweet and innocent yet if she throws a couple of vodka’s down her throat she seems ready for anything. Seeming to have the good girl disguise down to a T as the girl next door and like Cinderella, as the clock strikes 12 things chance dramatically. Body shots, lap dances and streaking come to mind when I look at Dodo. 

Favourite sexual position: Doggy – Well at least she is being honest

Siblings: Older sister…….(shot gun)

Bra size: 34 B

Relationship status: in a relationship

Favourite ‘down down’ song:  Dodo loves going ……. .down down down

Catch phrase: Tosser is too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here.

Favourite colour: Blue

Most embarrassing moment: Waking up after a rough Thursday club night still in my clothes from the night before, but with no underwear. I still have no idea where my bra is or who I was with?!

Weirdest/worst habit: Awesome habit of finding the shortest shorts, I’m so lucky

Beverage of choice: Vodka and lime

My signature dish is: Scrambled eggs……..between the legs

Player Profile #10 - Piles & Noob

Full Name: Donovan John Hiles                                                   Nickname: Piles aka Tourettes

Date of birth:  04-10-1985                                                       Star sign: Libra

Playing position: Forward, Link, Indoor back (aka position slut)     Year joined the club: 2009 (I think)

Where do I start with this boykie. Another one of the Edgemead Maffia. Was part of the 1^st team Edgemead Hockey side back in the glory days (when I was captain). Pretty much following the Williams family on their crusade to play at every club possible, Bellville, Durbanville, then he decided to have a brief stint in Knysna. We all still think it was to pursue his tik smoking career.

Coming back to Cape Town, he made the silly mistake of joining Cape Town Hockey Club and has regretted that decision since then. Finally he made up his mind and decided to don the green and blue of Mutual. Having a great first season. Lately thou, Piles has become rather tactful (must be rubbing off from Vis because they have started hanging out a bit much) and quite a bit of a potty mouth. Developing a liking to one of his team mates who seems to bear the brunt of most of his abuse, but let’s face it, he probably deserves it.

He holds the position of match secretary and lets be honesty, any guy who has the position of secretary should not be taken seriously. He also is quite a decent cook, well he has to be otherwise he would be eating burnt toast for the rest of his life. Secretary and cooks well…..hmmm, I think we should start to worry about him.

Favourite sexual position:  Anything I can get

Siblings: Yes, one. – And she is a belter

                Would you say your sibling is sexy? Sies! That question is definitely for you! – But YES, I know for a fact that during high school Donny was hiding a belter in his house….one that used to give us free booze. I miss Benita.

Bra size: I could probably fill an A

Relationship status: Engaged

Favourite ‘down down’ song: It’s not what you do, but the way that you do it, that makes you such a P&^%

Catch phrase: Noob

Favourite colour: Green

Most embarrassing moment: Pee'd myself in sub A during class, just couldn’t hold it! Being caught boogerhanded picking my nose under my desk at Primary School. – And I thought he was going to talk about the time on matric weekend when he woke up after a huge night and 2 hours later found a filled condom between his cheeks….just saying.

Weirdest/worst habit: I like to plant shit. (I think he means seeds, he likes to plant seeds) and being neat....just weird for a guy 

Beverage of choice:  Castle light, "Spiced Gold" (brandy...sshhhh) 

Full Name: Dominique Kate Judd                                 Nickname: PG, Noob

Date of birth:  06-11-1987                                       Year joined the club: 2011

Star sign: Um....(hold please, google) Scorpio               Playing position: Forward                             

Since they are a newly engaged couple, I thought I would add PG to his profile. Just recently finding out she has a sister I’m calling shotgun. There have been rave reviews of her amazing planning skills and she is always the first person to get any joke thrown out in a conversation. lol

Out of consideration for her fiancé she has used her spare time to become a volunteer fire fighter after a ‘little’ mishap in which she almost burnt down the whole complex. Apparently this has now become her signature dish. Having a good first season at the club and slotting in a couple goals, one can’t help to mention that she would get so many more if she could just rock up to practice on time.

                               

Favourite sexual position:  Helicopter, whirlwind, tornado

Siblings: Sister – yes please!!!

                Would you say your sibling is sexy? Of course she is! Here is her number 074 194 4998

Bra size: no comment…..im not liking this no comment. *ruffels thru PGs closet* …….32B

Relationship status: Engaged

Favourite ‘down down’ song: A zebra’s stripes are black and white. One goes up, the other goes down down down

Catch phrase: huh? What? ……………………….oooooooh, I get it now.

Favourite colour: Coral Pink……. (No idea)

Most embarrassing moment: Too many to mention one...

Weirdest/worst habit: Leaving shoes almost strategically placed around the flat

Beverage of choice:  Savanna Lite

My signature dish is: Trying not to burn the ceiling...

PSI – Princess Series Indoor

Firstly let me just state that I think the Princess Series is an amazing idea, it’s a great warm up to IPT and at the guys not selected can come down and watch the “trials”.

BUT, some of the guys who were playing in the tournament were absolutely shocking and must have sucked a lot of cock to get in there.  At Mutual I put 4 names forward, it seems like at other clubs they just send it out to anyone really. Next year I think Goose should be in the PSI. 

So, heading straight to UCT indoor after work, I pre order a 6-pack from Tatty. She must have felt giving because when I got there she said she ‘mistook’ a 12-pack for a 6-pack? I just think she wanted to get me smashed.

Yes I was joined by these crazy bitches before the start of the match. Somehow getting the position of barman for the evening, we seemed to be the only group boozing almost as if everyone else was there for the hockey.

Our 4 boys (Chef, Lemon, Drummond and Suffix – you will have heard of them in the match reports) were each selected for one of the sides at PSI. This mean that at least two of them would be making the final. First match, of the day, started off quite close, but then just went kinda rampant ending with  Lemon’s team losing. Drummond had quite a childish first flick as always. Almost brought a tear to my eye.

Eagerly awaiting the match of Tea m Vis, we were not displeased watching him make an immediate impact when coming onto the field, before he even touched the ball. Hand on the back, stick across the chest type of tackle and first caution of the match. Lol.

In Chef’s words, that game could have gone either way – But it didn’t, his team lost. Meaning Suffix’s team remained unbeaten over the round robin stage of the competition. The finals ended up with the Knights (Suffix’s team) winning the whole tournament.

Stand out players for me on the day were definitely Steve ‘Crouch’ Evans and Bradley ‘Scribble You’ Venter.  Some great hockey was seen and played. No, not by all, some of the guys playing in this tournament were average at best. Kinda reminded me of Bondi, yeah….that bad.

But really looking forward to the next PSI tournament. Thinking we should give some of our 5^th team players a run.

Player Profile #9 - Tatty

Full Name: Tamara Tashlyn Thomas                             Nickname: Tatty, How Much, Major, Cray

Date of birth:  09-08-1988                                           Star sign: Leo (ggrrrrr)

Playing position: Half                                                    Year joined the club: 2011

This gem was recruited to the club after it was found out that she has a Jacuzzi. YES a Jacuzzi. Which has actually been quite useless since I have never been in said Jacuzzi.

Growing up in the valley, a town far, far away. Too far to drive to without packing a lunch and supplies. There are two passport checks from civilization to her house, so make sure your passports are ready because I have been told that a Jacuzzi party is on the cards. Costumes are optional.

Also known as the chick with the Red Bulls, looking for any reason to bring red bulls to the party. Putting us all on a caffeine rush then causing us to crash, badly. Not even the next day, we are given take away red bulls to keep us going til Wednesday. Then it literally feels like you are at deaths door. No more caffeine so you are tired and the hang over you got rid of thanks to the red bull, comes back with vengeance….. You will spend most of your time in the fetal position or crying.

Known after the hockey dance as the chick with the long nails. Funny that her profile is on top of Bondi, somethings never change.  Always has her party hats out for a good time, but was recently left with a very sour taste in her mouth after a night out. Really enjoys a bit of Lemon with her tequila.

Favourite sexual position: uuuhhhhmmmmm, do I have to choose?!?!?

Siblings: Younger sister Stephanie

                Would you say your sibling is sexy? I guess so - INCEST, a game the whole family can play!!!

Bra size: 36 C

Relationship status: Single aka slapper

Favourite ‘down down’ song: We are the World, we are the children…We get f#ch drunk every night drink drink drink drink

Catch phrase: Amazeballs, Redick & Imagine

Favourite colour: red, pink, black (depends on my mood)

Most embarrassing moment: toooooo many to mention, im doing stooopid shit all the time!!!

Weirdest/worst habit: I have a rubber arm (tisk tisk)

Beverage of choice:  Castle light or jack, lime & soda

My signature dish is: roti & butter chicken and Choc cake

Player Profile #8 – Bondi Clark

Full Name: Jacques Michael Clarke Powell                            Nickname: Bondi, Patches, Champion

Date of birth:  10-01-1991                                                             Star sign: Capricorn

Playing position: Linkline                                                               Year joined the club: 2009

Noticing at the very young age of three that he was really really ridiculously good looking and deciding to do it professionally (be ridiculously good looking), boy wonder, Bondi Clark< burst onto the male modelling scene. If you were thinking about it, yes it is true, the movie Zoolander is actually a biography of Bondi’s childhood.

After achieving all the accolades possible in the modelling world, Bondi hung up his designer clothes and left the world of beautiful people and run ways for the sports field. He was denied the chance to represent his home country of Australia in cricket as they could not offer a 10-year old a professional contract. And asked to leave New Zealand because he was just too amazing at rugby and ruin the youth development for years to come if fellow youngsters saw his raw talent. He decided to relocate to South Africa, where he would take up hockey and be……..average at best.

Quickly establishing the habit of being able to score off the pitch more than make a contribution on it. He was well and truly lived up to his reputation of being the club slapper. Bringing in his poor Wynberg skills and rubbish tactics from Conberg. All coaches at the club labelled him as uncoachable.

                               

He had his Mutual meltdown shortly after joining, deciding that since he was so awesome he should be able to cut his own hair. I’m sure he is still grateful that the nickname “Patches O’Houlihan” did not catch on. He is quickly becoming a hit with the ladies especially on the night of the hockey dance and having the battle scars the next morning to prove.

Having been referred to as the child prodigy this little critter made the mistake of trying to poke the bear, figuratively passing away for a few weeks and being branded as “dead to me”. After a fairly above average performance during his indoor debut he earned his ‘life’ back, hopefully taking away a valuable lesson. We are called seniors for a reason.

With a bright future ahead of this lad in the field of boot polishing and water bottle rejuvenation. He is a great asset to the club and known by many of the ladies as a ‘sure thing’.

Favourite sexual position: Bent over the kitchen counter taking it from behind

Siblings: Sister - Savanna

Bra size: Sculptured pecks

Relationship status: Single

Favourite ‘down down’ song: Put your left leg over my shoulder! Put your right leg over my shoulder! Brrrrrrrr! Suck it like a mango!!! Nananananananaanana

Catch phrase: WHOSE NEXT!

Favourite colour: Baby Blue (like my eyes)

Most embarrassing moment: When I laugh at people less talented as me (so every minute).

Weirdest/worst habit: Touching Ears

Beverage of choice: Windhoek Lager

Player Profile #7 – TOSSER (about me)

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Player Profile #6 - Vis

Full Name: Jacques Ryan van der Walt                              Nickname: Vis, Fish, Chef, Fish Cakes

Date of birth:  04-11-1982                                                Star sign: Scorpio

Playing position: Striker/Link/part time Keeper                  Year joined the club: 2002

(None of which he plays well)

There has been a rivalry dating back to the dawn of time with this one, from football(club) to hockey(club&school) to measuring in the showers(extracurricular activities) , obviously with me winning each time. A matriculant from Oudies International, yeah I didn’t know Oude Moulen went up to matric either, he studied further at Cape Tech. Finally receiving his Btech – Electrical Engineering, this means he has been on more SASSU tournaments that anyone else in the tournaments history. South Africa’s equivalent of Van Wilder except with a degree.

He is the reason that I have graced Mutual with my presence. He tried to recruit me a year before and when I said no, he persuaded me to move to Mutual with his stick across my shins, hand on my back type of tackle from behind. Basically a normal Vis tackle. He is second in line behind Demon for most cards at Mutual thanks to his great tackling ability.

Also known as Tactfulness with his great ability to explain himself fully with comforting words, leaving the opposite party happy and with high hopes of the future.We are still wondering how he bagged Spur. I have been asking him for the number of his ‘chemist’ for the last year, but it seems he wants to keep this info to himself. Well until the wedding, we all saw who his best man was.

But as tactful as he is, he is probably the most reliable person at the club and if you want something done, he is the guy to call. Hopefully you will want it done his way, because things are done the Vis-way and then things are done the wrong-way according to him. He does a little bit of acting in his spare time as well, he just recently finished filming Brokeback Mountain 2 with his co-star Solly. Apparently there is an amazing scene at the stadium…..spoiler alert!!

Favourite sexual position: Tri-Sexual, will try anything sexual – This is true, iv seen it

Siblings: Floppy

Bra size: N/A

Relationship status: Married

Favourite ‘down down’ song: We are the World, we are the children…We get f#ck drunk every night drink drink drink drink

Catch phrase: Visure - Can you do it? Visure I can

Favourite colour: Blue

Most embarrassing moment: TBC – I think its probably his great record with night clubs(Tiger&The Roof) and that time at the Roof when he tried to head butt the bouncers fist.

Weirdest/worst habit: Continuous Goal Scoring

Beverage of choice: Castle

Player Profile #5 - Spur

Full Name: Genevieve van der Walt                        Nickname: Spur, Gina, Medusa ,Colin McCrae

Date of birth:  20-11-1985                                     Star sign: Scorpio

Playing position: Left Half                                       Year joined the club: 2005

My rose amongst the thorns. Making up half of couple awesome, what made her marry Vis I will never know.lol. Another one of our ladies finishing off at Fairburn and then studying further at Cape Tech, majoring in ‘listen to me or my foot will find your ass’ techniques as well as WHAAAAAAT get on the couch and shut your mouth. She has recently become an overnight sensation mastering the impossible instrument known only as Guitar Hero.

As you know this belter is unfortunately off the market, but that doesn’t mean you can’t buy her a bevy. Get enough bevy’s down and you will soon meet her evil twin Gina. But this side of her can cause anything from fights to assests. When Gina is around fun…and deadly…..but fun. Basically you know it’s a party when Gina arrives.

On the way to the Jimmy Carr show I met yet another personality. I know Spur is sounding a little schizo, but not to worry. All sides of Spur are …….(crap I’m gona have to type this, but I still refuse to say it….yes ok fine) Amazeballs.  There you happy, I said it. Anyway, Colin McRae decided to come out of his shell on the way to the comedy show. OMF I’m glad I packed in a spare pair of jocks. Lets just say the tyres weren’t the only thing leaving skidmarks. And with legs like a Swedish gymnast you can see why she is the current holder of the Mrs. Mutual 2011 title. Yowzers!

Favourite sexual position: No Comment. – (When its no comment we know its

Something kinky!)

Siblings: 1 Brother and 2 Step Brothers   

Would you say your sibling is sexy? EEEWWW!!!!

Bra size: 32 C – (That’s my girl!)

Relationship status:  Married

Favourite ‘down down’ song: Put your left leg over my shoulder! Put your right leg over my shoulder! Brrrrrrrr! Suck it like a mango!!!Nananananananaanana

Catch phrase: WHAAAAT!!!!!

Favourite colour: Purple

Most embarrassing moment:  I have too many.

Weirdest/worst habit: Being friends with Tosser. It’s addictive

Beverage of choice: Castle lite or Soco Lime

My signature dish is:  Only 1. But the Kitchen is my Home....LOL (Brings a tear to my eye)

Bubbles Braai (10-12-2011)

It was a beautiful summer’s day and a perfect time for a little club get together at Bubbles house. For some reason I got roped into arriving early to help. I was basically just there to delegate and for moral support. When I arrived there, it brought a tear to my eye to see that everyone was at work already and knew their place.

I got a little bored during the set up since I wasn’t doing anything. So I decided to have a walk around, ok fine I went into bubbles room to snoop and steal her underwear. I am sure all of u deserves an explanation for the…let's call them ‘products’ she keeps on her bedside table.

Ok, the first one is understandable, strawberry body paint. Yes I tasted it, and yes its not too bad. Tastes a little like Nesquick. 

This however needs explaining, what exactly do you need Mango chilli relish, sweet chilli sauce and pesto for…in your bedroom. I mean I have heard of some pretty kinky things. But mango chilli relish? I really hope your mom is reading this blog then she can be as worried as the rest of us are at this point and get you the help you need.

Moving along swiftly, we then moved onto a few games of what I thought was naked twister. Apparently these people only like the children’s version so I was quickly disqualified. For some reason they gave me the spinny thing and got me to shout directions. WOW, did they have no idea, let me let you in on a little secret. When you have three ladies (Bubbles, Spur and Tatty) playing twister in minimal clothing and you get to tell them what positions they have to get into J I don’t think I called out anything I actually spun.

After their game, I let Spur in on my amazing scheme and she then did the exact same thing for the next game. Piles and Mona both getting a face full of Vis. Pretty sure Vis got to second base without even realising it.

Congratulations to Pengus who has joined the sad club of engaged people. Obviously I still blame Vis and Spur for starting this movement. Congrats must also go out to Demon and Sam who got engaged during their trip to Thailand. Really, who didn’t see that one coming? We then ate the well prepared food of Piles and Chef (Another reason we call his chef) and enough salads to feed an army. It was then time for Secret Santa, Woooohooo!

Some really interesting presents were opened this year, trying to top last year bogey prize of a Boney M cd and the top prize of Fundies. Favourites this year included a pregnancy test and Hot Shots dvd.

I ended up with a packet of gums and halls.lol. Bubbles was very impressed with her prize! I am sure her and brundle didn’t get much sleep, something a little different compared to the mango chilli relish they are used to.

After all the presents were handed out, Brundle decided that now was a good time to attempt the 100 club (That’s 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes, no chundering, no bathroom breaks). With D as his official time keeper he set out on his way. The poor lad got to 92 before making a NSTC (No So Tactical Chunder) in the bushes. It was like getting to the stadium while running the Comrades, stepping onto the grass and breaking your leg. But even thou he failed on the last hurdle, he was in high spirits.

And so ended another successful braai at Bubs. People starting to carefully plan their exit strategies, I waited til guitar hero was out before I made a quick dash to the door (I am sure Bubbles foundation is starting to cave because her passage is very uneven, I was falling all over the place). I remember leaning against the wall thinking the next time that front door spins around I have to get through it. It took me 10 minutes, but I eventually got outside. Awesome night and I’m sure that everyone felt like crap on Sunday.

Special thanks must go out to Thad Castle who gave us free tickets to the gun show.

Player Profile #4 - Oog

Full Name: Matthew Storti                                            Nickname: Oog

Date of birth:  12-08-1989                                           Star sign: uhm, Leo, I think

Playing position: link, bench                                          Year joined the club: 2004, took a year sabbatical in 2008, returned in 2009

Often referred to as youngster or Oooooi! , this guy grew up at the club from the tender age of 16. He was spotted at Edgemead High School where I was coaching at the time, yes they let me coach school boys (this was before the incident). I quickly recruited what I thought then was ‘young talent’ but I was very quickly proven wrong. I noticed this after the first tackle box I put him into. With one swooping smash oh his ‘club’ he sent the poor attacker limping off. This was the last time I ever saw Oscar Pristorius on the hockey field. I was now stuck with this guy four practices a week for school and club.

After matriculating from EHS he took a year off to go to the UK and find himself or whatever that means. Personally I would have rather looked in the mirror than fly a couple thousand KM’s. Returning from the UK he was quickly welcomed back onto the 2’s bench. What he lacked in skill he made up with a thorough knowledge and application of the buffalo rules, this was drilled into him as a youngster at the club, he was also taught the rules after practice. Then out of nowhere he decided he had conquered all he could in the hockey world, which was not much, and convinced a fellow team mate to start a volleyball side. What he didn’t explain to this new comer to the club, later known as Brundle, was what a volleyball team actually does.

Brundle would be the setter, which basically meant he would go out and find a chick he fancied and throw all his pick-up lines in the book at her. As soon as he had her slightly hooked (or distracted) Storti would burst onto the scene when she was nicely ‘set up’, spike and score. Their team almost went semi-pro…(hehehe I said semi) beating off teams with amazing defence from mug&Bean, Slug  ‘n lettuce and Escargot (in a 3 set thriller) Losing in the finals to a team from Hot Swedish twins, nothing was able to break that defence.

But enough about that, back to the little hockey he played. He holds two land speed record for the slowest drag ever recorded (one for the ball leaving the ground and one for the ball not leaving the ground at all). As well as the longest time spent side lined for an injury (over a year) this enormous feat was almost matched by Sparky. But it looks like his wankers elbow had fully recovered (this was also his spiking arm and could have been brought on by his amazing volleyball career) and he will be back on the turf…..I mean grass very shortly.

Favourite sexual position: standing tiger, crouching dragon

Siblings: Luke Storti

                Would you say your sibling is sexy? He definitely has his days. Definitely when he GHDs his hair out of his face and you can see his eyes. He reminds me of a young Edward Cullen.

Bra size: I am holding a 34DD and typing with my other hand.

Relationship status: in a relationship

Favourite ‘down down’ song: Here's to Oog, he's so blue he's a drunken through and through, he's a basterd so they say, tried to go to heaven but went the other way,
singing 1,2,3,4,5...... Naah

Catch phrase: I have no money; Dry your eyes faggot

Favourite colour: Green

Most embarrassing moment: Freaking out in the hospital in bloem thinking I'd broken my right eye socket, when infact I had been hit in the left eye. Tosser forcing me show everyone my TIA tattoo, and pulling down the wrong side of my shorts (soon I will be doing a blog on club tattoo’s). Going to Edgemead High

Weirdest/worst habit: Loosing my wallet and keys when I'm stone sober. The boozed text is also another favourite

Beverage of choice: Castle light, Windhoek actually depends on what you are buying…