Good morning guys
Well the games certainly did
1. Umpiring….we can’t change that. Let’s hope we don’t have Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber again. #tellthem
2. 5 Goals against UCT A side when some people (#Dowraffy) said we had no chance in winning, well done boys.
3. We should take our opportunities. (Platters and *cough* *cough* P-flicks) – I will just leave this comment in here.
25 January 2012
Venue: Sunningdale
Opponents: UCT A
After warming up on the new Sunningdale courts, we made the stupid decision to keep Vis as acting captain who’s record now stands at 2-0. (That’s losing the toss twice) He will argue that he didn’t lose this toss, but they won it. Either was we started off what would be one of our 3 hardest games. If we thought UCT B was a fast paced game, you must realise that 3 minutes into the game I had to run to the bathroom to chunder the game was so fast paced. (And I was on the bench) 2/3’s of the Tri-fector started on the bench. And this was noticed as soon as we came onto the field. Suffix made a great little run thru the middle and we managed to force a short corner. Then came probably the most confusing minute of my life. I said slip, Vis said no go straight, then he said slip again as a UCT player walked past us, then changed his mind to straight. I had F-all idea on what was going on so just decided that the best way to respond to that was make a goal out of it. The most delicate slip was given to Suffix who buried it into the goals. Mutual 1-0 UCT A
We were all still celebrating the goal when UCT centred off and one guy basically ran thru our whole side and scored…. Mutual 1-1 UCT A
Yeah it was that quick. About 3 seconds. Almost as quick as Dorathys sex life. Chef looked at this and decided whatever UCT could do, he probably couldn’t do but he would try anyway. Receiving a ball from Brundle, scribbling the defender and going wide round the keeper, he slipped a platter to me which took a nasty deflection towards goals. Seeing my opportunity I lunged forward to poach a goal and half way there decided it was UCT A, let Chef have a goal against them. Had this happened at the end of the match KOF, I would have taken it. Mutual 2-1 UCT A
Karma Sutra realising it was his time to shine gave a ball to Chef, smashing it off the boards, I don’t recall it happening like this. But he scrimimamaged the entire UCT side before slipping it past the keeper. Mutual (&TeamVis) 3-1 UCT A
Almost in trouble straight away again. UCT scramble in the circle and get a shot off after Milky has pulled off 3 fantastic saves, Bollie takes one for the team and gives away a stroke. UCT must have watched our previous game, because they took pointers from Bob, smashing the ball into Milky's pads. What a moral boosting save.
I was then schooled in the ‘new rules’ the umpires were given to trial out in our game. (only our game) Apparently deliberately breaking down play is now considered a skill after watching a UCT player kick the ball away as we were about to take a 16. Dowraffy then decided to verbally caution Brundle because breaking down play was now considered a skill. Moments later, the most blatant stick block I have ever seen, in front of Dowraffy, was given against me. OK I know I’m not the best tackler, but by this point in the game I was too tired to move or swing my stick at the player. And lastly, hacking is now a good tackle, after seeing Pablo get his stick smashed to shit in the circle and play being allowed to continue. (Dowraffy 3 – 0 WPHU)
UCT childish as ever, decided to run us ragged in the dying minutes of the first half. 3 v 5 in the circle and they managed to have a man open on p-spot, Milky having no chance to get a glove on it. Mutual 3-2 UCT A
Thus ending the half. Most of the half time team talk was spent with huge smiles on our faces because we were winning. Vis thru in a bit of tact which we have come to expect from him. I gave my usual speech when playing against top sides “it doesn’t matter who wins as long as you have fun” to which Pablo had to pipe up with “Te voy a matar, puto”…..We not sure what he meant but I know one of those words mean kill. Hearing this we decided to start Pablo on the bench.
UCT started the second half with fury wanting to get ahead fast. We held them for a couple of minutes before they were awarded a short corner which they made our first and second wave run all over the place before taking a shot which Milky saved then following up and smashing it into the goals. Mutual 3-3 UCT A
UCT were now on a bit of a run, gaining a bit of momentum after their last goal, making a dart down the right but Bollie was there to block it off. Pity Bollie has not mastered the new rule of breaking down play and kicking the ball away, UCT taking the free hit quickly and laying off a pass to their middle man. He might have been able to take a shot and score, but Pablo made sure it was his last contribution to the game. I think he shanked him, but I’m not going to start accusing a guy with a family that takes up half the space in Mexico. Mutual 3-4 UCT A
A little on the back foot and defending like demons we found a little space. KSutra taking a quick free hit to the Mexican who fake slapped it all the way across the field to Chef who was happy to pick up the platter and also his hatrick. Back on level terms. Mutual 4-4 UCT A
I have no idea how this happened, but noticing Bollie’s run up the side of the field, I also noticed he had a raging nose bleed. I don’t think he has ever been that high up on the field. The altitude up front must have affected him. (KSutra suffers from the same thing) Chef selfishly slips a ball into his path, one touch he saw himself open in the circle. With the keeper running out, he composed himself and flipped the ball over the keeper. We had a vote and most people thought it was going wide. But we will give it to him, the defender taking a slight touch on the way thru and the ball smashing the top corner of the goals. Mutual 5-4 UCT A
Were held UCT for a while longer, until Bollie decided to take a 16 from the baseline pushing it straight to a UCT player and after bouncing the ball around a bit, they created space for themselves. The striker finding himself open on top D, smashing the ball into the roof. Very childish. Mutual 5-5 UCT A
After a few well worked moves round the back. We found our way into their circle and forcing a shorty. Pablo did fantastically to flick the ball past the keeper hitting a UCT player on the line giving us a p-flick. Much to all our surprise Vis decided to pick Bob after his blunder last week. With all his talk about redeeming himself we thought we would definitely go ahead. To describe his p-flick is going to be hard. But I’m sure I saw it on the back of a milk carton the next morning. “MISSING” that’s right. Setting a new record, missing two p-flicks in two games. Straight at the keeper. To make things worse I’m pretty sure it bounced before it hit the keeper.
Then the umpires decided to get involved again, thinking that ‘we had no chance to begin with’ a few shitty decisions we wouldn’t moan about. Suffix went on one of his runs down the centre of the field the ball hitting a UCT stick and lifting. Mutual then pushed up to take the hit and before we knew it, the umpire had his hand pointed in the opposite direction. UCT quickly taking the free hit while we wondered what exactly happened and they scored their 6th goal. Mutual 5-6 UCT A
After that it was the same thing again. UCT lifting the ball in the centre of the pitch, And yes before you say it ‘play to the whistle’ I know, but when it’s that blatant that a guy throws an overhead to his striker you seem to stop. With Mutual on the back foot, Pablo did what he could and carved another player on p-spot. Now the umpires seemed to open their eyes and awarded a p-flick. Pablo really wanted the UCT player to miss it so that there would be one worse off player than him missing twice in one game. UCT made no mistake burying the ball in the bottom corner. Mutual 5-7 UCT A
All in all a great game to watch, the boys did well barring Pablo’s flick. #toosoon.
Dorathy ending the game with 2 assists and a whole lot of compliments or complaints the next day.
I know it’s far out for our supporters to come watch us play, but I miss them like a Bob p-flick
Till next time.
Final Score Mutual 5 – 7 UCT A
Next Game:
29th January 2012 vs Pinelands @20h00 at Sunningdale
Yours in awesomeness
Tosser
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