Player Profile #17 - Import

Full Name: Dylan Samantha Parker                                Nickname: Import, Export

Date of birth:  15-04-1987                                             Star sign: Aries

Playing position: Defender                                              Year joined the club: 2010

Import is a player that I had luckily just missed out on meeting at my previous clubs. I left Pinelands and Durbanville just before he joined. Unfortunately I forgot about my 2 year club cycle and was stuck at Mutual when he arrived from Durbanville.

Not only is Import a hockey player but a coach as well. He currently holds the record at Mutual for having two sides relegated in consecutive seasons, an amazing accomplishment. Also managing to get a side from the men’s and women’s leagues relegated. As well as most number of injuries to his players during warm ups.

He is the current holder of the indoor award, which many people at the club agree was a completely biased call from the selection(s) committee #TellThem. You will notice a few games into the season that punctuality is not in his vocabulary.

Easily one of the most skilful players at the club #TellBasil. However he feels the need to show/prove this to us in every game, practice matches even during practice drills. Most of the time getting tackled and then being labelled as one of the dribblers in the club #SillyBoy.

Quite a the romantic guy, one night a few years ago while camping un in the Cederburg. He arranged a perfectly clear night to take an unsuspecting victim star-gazing. Let’s just say what happens at Cederburg stays at Cederburg…..except this, they totally hooked up.

Has also been known to wake up in the morning, in his car after a rough night at Tiger. The guy had already left and didn’t have the decency to even pay for parking. Bubbles proving the heroine, leaving winedown to go pay for his parking.

But as much shit as we give this poor lad, he lives for hockey. Come rain, shine or a last minute sms to fill in. He will be there.

Favourite sexual position: Taking it from behind

Siblings: 1 Brother – All the talent went to him

Bra size: Varies depending on my menstrual cycle

Relationship status: It’s complicated

Favourite ‘down down’ song: You’re not welcome on our ship, on our ship. You’re not welcome on our ship, ship, ship. Cause our ship is a tanker and you’re a f*%cking wanker. You’re not welcome on our ship, on our ship.

Catch phrase:

Favourite colour: Pink

Most embarrassing moment: Caught star gazing in the Cederburg.

Weirdest/worst habit: Dribbling, yes Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Beverage of choice: Hunters dry or pink cocktails with an umbrella