Player Profile #8 – Bondi Clark

Full Name: Jacques Michael Clarke Powell                            Nickname: Bondi, Patches, Champion

Date of birth:  10-01-1991                                                             Star sign: Capricorn

Playing position: Linkline                                                               Year joined the club: 2009

Noticing at the very young age of three that he was really really ridiculously good looking and deciding to do it professionally (be ridiculously good looking), boy wonder, Bondi Clark< burst onto the male modelling scene. If you were thinking about it, yes it is true, the movie Zoolander is actually a biography of Bondi’s childhood.

After achieving all the accolades possible in the modelling world, Bondi hung up his designer clothes and left the world of beautiful people and run ways for the sports field. He was denied the chance to represent his home country of Australia in cricket as they could not offer a 10-year old a professional contract. And asked to leave New Zealand because he was just too amazing at rugby and ruin the youth development for years to come if fellow youngsters saw his raw talent. He decided to relocate to South Africa, where he would take up hockey and be……..average at best.

Quickly establishing the habit of being able to score off the pitch more than make a contribution on it. He was well and truly lived up to his reputation of being the club slapper. Bringing in his poor Wynberg skills and rubbish tactics from Conberg. All coaches at the club labelled him as uncoachable.

                               

He had his Mutual meltdown shortly after joining, deciding that since he was so awesome he should be able to cut his own hair. I’m sure he is still grateful that the nickname “Patches O’Houlihan” did not catch on. He is quickly becoming a hit with the ladies especially on the night of the hockey dance and having the battle scars the next morning to prove.

Having been referred to as the child prodigy this little critter made the mistake of trying to poke the bear, figuratively passing away for a few weeks and being branded as “dead to me”. After a fairly above average performance during his indoor debut he earned his ‘life’ back, hopefully taking away a valuable lesson. We are called seniors for a reason.

With a bright future ahead of this lad in the field of boot polishing and water bottle rejuvenation. He is a great asset to the club and known by many of the ladies as a ‘sure thing’.

Favourite sexual position: Bent over the kitchen counter taking it from behind

Siblings: Sister - Savanna

Bra size: Sculptured pecks

Relationship status: Single

Favourite ‘down down’ song: Put your left leg over my shoulder! Put your right leg over my shoulder! Brrrrrrrr! Suck it like a mango!!! Nananananananaanana

Catch phrase: WHOSE NEXT!

Favourite colour: Baby Blue (like my eyes)

Most embarrassing moment: When I laugh at people less talented as me (so every minute).

Weirdest/worst habit: Touching Ears

Beverage of choice: Windhoek Lager