Indoor Awards 2012 (Men’s 1’s)

Yes, it’s that time of the year you have all been waiting for, the Annual Indoor Awards 2012. Looking back at a great season there were many high and low points so I have decided to try to sum up the season with a ‘quick’ post.

*Please not that all awards are fictional, no trophys will be changing hands. These awards are just for the amusement of the writer (#Me) so he can take the piss out of the rest of the side. If you have a weak stomach or can’t handle a joke please stop reading now and ask your mommy to remove this web address from your browsing history. For the rest of you enjoy.*

When looking at the team, we look like your everyday, guy next door type. But at times during the season we looked a lot more like this, especially the final game……

Hulk, captain Awesome, Silver Surfer (the guy who doesn’t speak - Suffix), the token coloured guy which no one really knows what he does, Chef on fire with his goal scoring. Some moments of pure brilliance over the last 9 games, going hand in hand with some shockers. (Special reference to Vis’ “So you think you can dance” audition hen playing against WPCC B)

My vote for player of the season has to go to our prolific goal scoring machine Team Chef ‘break dance’ ‘ lasagne belly’ ‘tactfulness’ Vis. With 11 goals this season, most of them being selfish one on ones with the keeper. His work rate and composure at the captains toss has to be commended as well.

The next award just by looking at it, I’m sure we all know who this is going to. Bob breaking a record for the lowest conversion rate from the p-spot. His normal excuse for always taking p-flicks is ‘Well I haven’t missed yet’, is now out the window. With 0% conversion rate out of 2, and conceding one!

We would like to congratulate Suffix on his province call up. You have had better seasons though, but hearing you speak at half time made this your best season yet.

This year was a bad year for keepers five in total. Losing our first keeper to an ‘injury’, so Fridge picks up the Band Aid Award.

Losing Milky to Las Vegas and he didn’t even bring us back any T-shirts….#Notcool

We finally ended off the season with new boy “Robin” Pearton who after his remark about a good keeper can always see where the attacker if going to flick from a p-flick and then proving twice that he was actually right. Except for the fact that he didn’t stop the ball, making him an ass.

Finally, Rudi making his Mutual comeback and playing the final game for us, was looking for a “where the f*ck have you been’ Award. 

The Miss Congeniality Award this year goes to Boogies. Not because he is well liked blab la bla, but because during the season he was a Federal Agent (or secret agent) for the other side. Doing his best not to contribute to any of the goal scoring madness throughout the season. Also almost topping the standings for most assists for the season, coming second only to Bollie. (A lot of people come second to Bollie)

 The next award we all know exactly who it is going to, just sneaking ahead of Boogies with most assists for the season. Not giving away many short corners this season, but let’s face it unless its WPCC B and Vis is in the goals, it’s not a definite goal. Bollie enjoys giving away p-flicks. By my records three conceded p-flicks for the season. So the award for my left ‘dragging’ foot goes to Bollie.

The Bruno Mars award goes to Brundle. Being a great wingman to Bondi ‘Over-rated’ Clark, he fought to get him a cap in the first side only to be dropped in return. “I’d get dropped from the 1s for yooooou….yeeeaaahhh”

Next up we have nutmeg of the season, and the top 3 must all go to Piles. Scoring his only non-nutmeg goal in the final game of the season #You’reWelcome. His first nutmeg against Pinelands was probably the best of them all. But let’s face it, you put a ball thru a keepers legs and it’s a great goal.

Which finally brings us to Bondi, together with his #GooseRatio and his Bastick ways, shooting from baseline never works. And even if you do score the rest of the team will be annoyed at you for actually shooting from that angle. Your last goal was a belter thou……#You’reWelcome!

Quick recap of the season, after the 9 games played – winning 3, drawing 1 and losing 5.

23 goals for and 42 against (11 from Vis’ breakdancing)

11 goals Vis

5 goals Tosser

4 goals a piece for Bondi and Piles (Well done selector(s) – can’t believe you were ever doubted)

0 goals for Boogies…….#toosoon?

So that brings us to the end of another 1s Indoor season. It’s been a good season, except for the 11-0 beating WPCC B gave us. In fairness it could have been worse, at least we aren’t Conberg. #TellThem.

Thanks for a great season guys.

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser