Indoor Game Week #3 - WPCC B (1's)

Good morning guys

I’m guessing most of us could barely move yesterday after the massacre that was Sundays game.

1.       Let us get a print out of Dorathys allocation and try change our fixtures to a night he is not available.

2.       Keeper and post man ducking. Grow a pair.

3.       After saying try not to give away any short corners, 9 is a bit much. Poor Vis. Lol.

05 February 2012

Venue: Sunningdale

Opponents: WPPC B

We all arrived at the field full of joy and high expectations for the match in what would be the toughest match of the season. We hadn’t fared badly against the other top clubs so we thought things would be ok. However, I had a huge surprise for the guys. Milky was on a plane far far away, Fridge was still recovering from his ‘broken toenail’ and Giger apparently had to work or study (whatever excuse he gave) ether way, we were without a keeper for today’s game. A silly choice to put Vis in the goals seeing as, being the top goal scorer, he has scored half the goals that Mutual has scored this season. This is why we call him Team Vis. Other concerns were that hulk might be late, Boogies had spent the whole night at VD – no, ladies don’t worry, Paul Van Dyk. You have to have sex to catch VD. And finally Bondi had spent his night in his car somewhere in town and woken up with a R10’er in his hand.

While warming up I was doing my best to build up the poor guys confidence in goals because I knew what was going to happen as soon as we took the field. Then out of nowhere Pablo goes and uses his ‘flick of the season’ and roofs it. Vis was not too impressed with this and he will tell you that he stick saved my flick. It wasn’t so much as a stick save as my amazing aim, I was flicking at his stick to boost his ego. I could smell skiddies in our team huddle when we realised who got allocated our match. But we still kept our spirits high and decided that our game plan was to get as little shorties as possible.

10 seconds into the game we realised that WPCC had a similar game plan – get as many short corners as possible. Pablo rushing into the circle to attempt a tackle that went horribly wrong and the ball popping up and first short corner of the match going to WPCC. With a short corner that could have been used for Step Up 4, the drag flick came in and saw Vis drop onto his back and start break dancing. Mutual 0 – 1 WPCC B

We then realised, ‘B’ side….I think not! Then Bollie decided this was hilarious, we could get Vis back for all the tactful team talks he had given over the years. Bollie thinking he is Messi boots the ball up field, giving away shorty number 2. In Vis’ defence (of course from the looks of things he wasn’t getting defence anywhere else) he did get a lot closer to this flick than the one before, but Bollie must have dropped his nail file because when I was looking back I am sure I saw him bend down as the ball sailed over his head into the goals. Mutual 0 – 2 WPCC B

So 2 minutes into the game we were thinking that this was going to be a very painful experience. Boogies ‘VD’ decided to get back at Vis as well, coming in with a hung over tackle. This time it was Vis who ducked. Mutual 0 – 3 WPCC B.

Boogies and Bollie then combined to team up to sell Vis down the river. Getting the WPCC striker to intercept the ball on the half way line. Vis charging him at full pace (I thought he was going to cut him in half) but he missed him. The ball was slapped to top D and calmly finished in the corner. Mutual 0 – 4 WPCC B.

I realise that the forward have not really been mentioned in the match report so far. That is probably because there is nothing to report. Although we did find out a new skill. When not retreating from a free hit, you are allowed to slow down play by not retreating and instead of giving a short corner for this offence you would give advantage to the team ‘not wearing yellow’ with the strikers chasing the ball and unable to get off a decent shot.

The last shorty before half time saw a great communication error. Vis wanting to go first wave, probably so he could get furthest away from where Isaacs was flicking. Everyone then because first wave and a WPCC slip saw an easy push in to end the half. Mutual 0 – 5 WPCC B.

There wasn’t much to say at half time and after passing around a few tissues and the defenders and Vis applying their vaseline for safety we took the field for the second half. It started off very similar to the first half. Bollie finding himself trapped in the corner, Pablo coming to help and kicking the ball. I’m sure I saw him look at Vis straight after and giggle. After mustering up the courage to keep his head lifted, Vis ran out to the Top D and got nuttied. Burn. Lol. Mutual 0 – 6 WPCC B.

Boogies decided he would one-up Bollie and Bob with his own 2v1 and forgot to protect the ball. He got munched in the D and in the same motion WPCC slotted the ball in the corner. Mutual 0 – 7 WPCC B.

Vis making his first save of the match from Donkey and either a miscommunication between the backs or the fact that Vis was still celebrating the save say a WPCC player walk forward and easily slot the ball past Vis. Mutual 0 – 8 WPCC B. Leon decided to get involved in the match and let play continue after the ‘Bald Eagle’ was leopard crawling around the field. Well done mate. #TellHim.

The a scene from Wanted (that movie with Angelina Jolie) the next short corner flick that ball bent around Vis and Bollie and sailed into the top corner. It was a great sight to watch from the half way line. Mutual 0 – 9 WPCC B.

Just before the game finished WPCC got their last shorty, the nail in the coffin came with WPCC hitting double figures with a slip. Bollie has obviously been giving himself too much attention at home because his wrists were too weak to stop the ball. Mutual 0 – 10 WPCC B.

The umpires weren’t finished there, then decided to throw an extra goal on the match card, signed them and left.

After the game we all gathered at Piles house, sat in the shower and cried for a solid 20min. We then strapped ice packs to our arse’s and watch the United game.

Final Score Mutual 0 - 10 WPCC B

Next Game:

Wednesday 8^th @ 21h30 vs Conberg

Must win game on Wednesday. Hopefully everyone is recovered and out of therapy by then.

Yours in awesomeness

Tosser