New Arrivals #2

Welcome to part II of our ‘New Arrivals’ piece. Four more ‘newbies’ have joined the awesomeness that is Mutual CPUT Hockey Club. If you see them around, stop them, introduce yourself and then send them to the bar to buy you a beer!

Full name: Nick Brown                                         Nickname: Breezy

Date of birth: 12-04-1992                                      Previous club: High school (SACS)

Playing position: Defence                                     Current team: 1’s

Definitely ranking up there with Wombraider as the tallest person in the club, if not the world. Also one of the better (clean) tacklers in the club. He always seems to be smiling for some reason? Which is kinda annoying, WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?! If you look at him, it seems like he is permanently getting a blowie from two Swedish porn stars. Sometime in the near future I am going to dedicate my day to making him sad. Just so he knows how normal people live day to day. 

Full name: Jonothan Sproul                                     Nickname: Giggles

Date of birth: 27-06-1994                                         Previous club: Fresh out of High school (Tableview)

Playing position: Forward                                       Current team: 1’s

Coming all the way from Tableview #WeAllHaveOurFaults (Not sure if I would prefer another SACS boy instead) it’s a wonder at the old age of 18(In Tableview terms) that this guy hasn’t got 12 kids and selling tik. Only answer I can come up with is that he is secretly deep down a Tableview nerd, but for some reason he still has a licence to carry a panga around in his stick bag. Probably for street cred. Yet amazingly Tableview has produced the first decent hockey player since….umm…err….ok im lost. I have no idea if Tableview has ever produced a decent player before Jono? All Tableview has done is boose the teen pregnancy ratio. #TableViewSluts 4 life J. Please no gang signs in future!

Full name: Christo Siebrits                                    Nickname: Vingers

Date of birth: 12-05-1989                                       Previous club: Northlink Collage

Playing position: Forward/Link                               Current team: 6’s

Probably the most foul thing I have seen in a while this bright spark spilt hot oil on his right hand, not sure what kinky stuff he was into. But hence he was christened with the nick name ‘Vingers’ for his Freddy Kruger looking hand. During trials I threw up in my mouth a couple of times, it’s one of those things that is so horrible, yet you look at it again.

Full name: Damien Hewitt                                       Nickname:

Date of birth: 17-05-1994                                         Previous club: Fresh out of Highschool (Bosch)

Playing position: Link                                             Current team: 1’s

OK fine I’ll say it. How this guy can only make the Rondebosch High School second side is beyond me. I think I should go pay a visit to my old friend Shaun Simpson and have a little ‘chat’. One of the few kids (new caps) that joined us for Wined-up, he was quickly fooled into doing push up ‘on top’ of Tatty after failing at the game of life. This kid will see more ‘mines’ than Afghanistan #ThankMutualForMakingYouBuff! A fantastic youngster for the future. I hope we build on the young recruits we have been getting, a couple more and we can drop the older guys #Bollie #Pablo to the Vets side (The Thorough-bred 3’s)