Date: Friday 13th April
Venue: Mutual astro
Time:20:30
Opponent: Milnerton
Hello Green and Blue.
Winning start to the season!!!!
A few kinks to work on for the next game:
When seeing a red headed sasquatch approach the field either roofie the bastard or prepare for him to have his way with your Keeper.
Short corners!!!!!
Smashing the ball from a free hit doesn’t always work.
After a great summer league season I got to our first game pretty confident, until their team starting arriving. I honest thought the extras from brave heart had decided to put on red t-shirts and invade, not only the fact that they looked like blood thirsty Ogres there were also 16 of them. At 8 o’clock I was still counting the number of greens on one hand, thinking they are going to grind our bones for their porridge. But in true Mutual spirits the guys finally arrived some in kit, some crying for kit, eventually after much taunting from Sonic and Tippex we looked like a mutual team. We supported the ladies 4s, cheering every time they scored. (Tosser - sooooo, twice?)
Warm up was like one of Goose’s relationship’s - short, sweet and involved a 13 year old boy. The toss went well, I threw my stick in the air and told the opposing captain he could stay where he was and we’d take the ball.
We started the game with a few well strung passes then let millies have some fun in our D, Goose decided that hockey was getting a bit boring so grabbed one of the shorter chubbier Millies guys and decided a tango was in order. I was impressed with the way he moved the unsuspecting guy with the grace and poise that only Goose could muster. After the short interlude we decided to have a run at their D, after a few passes found Calvin out in nice space at far post Mutual 1- Millies 0.
Their rage was evident when they returned to our D sending what looked like 8 of their players in. In a spat of confusion Otees was on the floor talking about ballet class and how Tombraider looks like Bakkies Botha, luckily Goose had seen this on a young man’s face before and quickly diagnosed Otees with being roofied by the Large Redhead. I decided I couldn't handle this anymore and subbed myself, as soon as I left the field they scored #coach/captainfail. (Tosser - I would say amazing substitution from the Coach. Takes alot to realise you are the weak like and sub yourself. Unfortunate Millies scored thou.)
Mutual 1- Millies Mouroders 1
During half time we decided that rather than giving them the ball we would only pass to our own players and that Goose was no longer allowed to talk on the field.
The plan worked well, we kept most of the possession during the second half and even passed backwards a fiew times to show how good we were.We decided that a draw just wasn't good enough. Luckily we payed the first mens game or I would of realised that a draw would have fit better with the other mens result.(Tosser - Bwaaahahaha....#ToldThem) We brought out our import Bob(Jeremy) from Zimbabwe to show them how a 13 year old scores goals.
With the composure of a master he darted into the D and slotted it past the keeper before one of their defenders could run him over. Mutual 2 - 1 Milnerton Mongolians.
After that amazing goal we decided that was good enough and decided to have a bit of fun with them taunting them on a few occasions Bob having another go at the keeper. Speedbump deflecting it at goal celebrating and realising it didn't go in as he does. We even felt so generous as to give them a shortie at the end, funny how the ump let the game play to that point then blow full time, it was a terrible one when someone shouted UNICORN half the Ogres looked up and Goose cleared the ball.
Final score Mutual 2 - 1 Milnerton
Point to ponder: If the ref looks like they dragged him out a pentioners village they probably did.
Thanks to our amazing supporters
To the old 4s welcome back, to Matthew, Calvin, Jeremy good to have you with us. (Tosser - they will be in New Arrivals soon) Well done 4s good start to a promising season!!!!!
Yours in Green and Blue (94.5% of the time)
KFM
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