New Arrivals #3

Part three of our ‘New Arrivals’ sees another 5 players joining the club. Well two new players and three which were expertly pulled out of retirement with empty promises and false hopes. But none the less they have joined.

Full name: Gareth Schuman                            Nickname: Oracle

Date of birth: 10-10-1992                                 Previous club: High school (SACS)

Playing position: Link                                     Current team: 1’s

Our very own Forrest Gump, with the IQ of a pot plant. Known as ‘The Oracle’ maybe because he resembles that chick from The Matrix. Has the smile of a little naughty schoolboy and thinks that if he keeps quiet and to himself he won’t get into trouble. Not in this club youngster. We might even take Tatty’s chain off for the weekend and let her loose on you.

Full name: Timothy Yates                             Nickname: Yates

Date of birth: 14-03-1987                               Previous club: Mutual (Back from retirement)

Playing position: Forward                              Current team: No one wants him

Finding himself back in Cape Town after going back to Namibia, decided that he would come back to Mutual (The club he so loved – seems to be a tread this year, we welcomed back a few old faces……now we just waiting on Gary!) If you are wondering, yes that is a pic at the Sexpo 2009 and no this is unfortunately NOT photoshopped. Sadly yes, I still have it in my archives. Not sure what else is in there….I am a little scared to look actually. I still have no idea how on earth he actually won a prize?

Full name: Johan Vincent Jooste            Nickname: Lunchbox

Date of birth: 23-04-1991                       Previous club: Northlink

Playing position: Defence                      Current team: 6’s

A very quiet guy, but by far the keenest player in the 6^th side. Always the first guy to arrive at practice (premature) and even drags his lady to every game and practice. Miss Lunchbox is a true WAG – Wives and Girlfriends for you noobs out there. I only found out 4 days ago that his name is actually Johan and not Vincent?

Full name: Simon Blake                                  Nickname: Blake

Date of birth:25-10-1985                                  Previous club: Mutual (Back from retirement)

Playing position: Forward                                Current team: 3’s

One of the original Edge boys to join the club and part of ‘Team il score you plenty of goals’, Blake was recruited back to the club in a less than sober state the weekend before fixtures started. Thinking he was just going out to celebrate his mates bday I saw my opportunity and pounced like a predator with lots of candy, telling them exactly what they wanted to hear. Yeah I will be coaching, (What league are we playing in)….no comment….Yes there will be beer, (what are subs)…..Yes there will be beer! Well it worked, he returns to the club with the same stick he had when he last played. #Vintage Grays GX4000 – which has probably scored more times that Jenna Jameson.

 Full name: Dean Brown                                Nickname: Maverick, Scooter

Date of birth: 16-10-1986                               Previous club: Mutual (Back from retirement)

Playing position: Forward                              Current team: 3’s

The other half of “Team I’ll score you plenty of goals”, was just an innocent by-stander that somehow got roped into joining as well. Seems like this lesbian pair can’t do anything without each other! Another great asset to the “Thorough-bred 3’s”/ 2012 Team of the Year. Looked a little rusty at practice heading into the first game week, but as always will find his form quickly…..well he has no choice, he has to.